Capitalism

A system devised to ensure ugly, boring people still get laid.

"I own a lot of property. I give money, that I inherited, to people with ideas that I think might make me more money."
"Great."
"I own a lot of really fast cars."
"Cool."
"I'm a winner."
"Uh-huh."
"What do you do?"
"I teach disabled kids how to read."
"Ouch. That can't pay well."
"Nope."
"Sucks to be you. Would you like to see some pictures of my cars."
"No, thank you. Sorry, I have to go."
"Look what lovely cars I have... I love capitalism."

by nobody_special October 11, 2015

capitalics

when your phone doesn't have italics so you have to capitalize your words when you text. sometimes causes misunderstandings

Alex: dude i thought she was yelling at me for telling a joke, so i got all pissed of and ranted about how she's such a bitch. turns out she was only using capitalics

Joe: haha sucks for you!

by thomasthewalrus September 25, 2009

Capital punishment

Listening to your annoying friend named Lyssa asks you questions about a worthless end of year practice exam
And while you're writing your definition on Urban dictionary she stares over your shoulder and argues with everything you put down.

Shut the fuck UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been given the capital punishment

by SATAN HAIL SATAN May 28, 2019

Capitostatism

Capitostatism is a political structure that meets the following requirements: the government has been turned into a joint stock sovereign company, everyone in the country is a shareholder to some minimum degree, and most wealth is held in these tradeable stateshares.

Under such a system, there is no successful conflict of interest. Mutual interest between everyone in the country becomes the monopoly on economy because everyone wants the market value of the stateshare to go up more than everyone wants anything else. Shareholders are entitled to service dividends from the state based on how many stateshares they own. Such services might be voting rights, property rights, entrance into the country, roads, military protection, police protection, courts, etc. The goal of this system is for services to improve relative to their cost since their improvement will cause the stateshare to increase in market value, which will cause everyone in the country to become wealthier.

After America's transition to capitostatism, every American became a millionaire.

by EternalPropagation June 10, 2019

Capitalism

A country where it’s government doesn’t care about its people and only care about taking their money and leaving them broke which they don’t care and don’t do anything about it.

The United States uses a capitalism government

by Adolf Mussolini August 10, 2020

Capitalism

THE lie.

Sure, capitalism works. Only when they want it to.

by anonymous February 13, 2021

Capicity

When you have the audacity to say something extremely wrong or "cap" as the word says.

Noel: Mr. Narrator has the serious capicity to say that the president commited election fraud
Shein: Ikr
Mr. Narrator: HE COMMITED ELECTION FRAUD

by Omega Hood February 24, 2022