Verb,

1. The action of teaching crabs how to read

2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,

Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.

Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.

The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.

Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Billy got burned at the stake for heresy!
I heard he was teaching crabs how to read!
by Lanse Grimez January 31, 2022
Get the Teaching Crabs How To Read mug.
a parson that doesn't know how to read needs to read a tutorial about how to read...
freind: how to read?
me: go to school bruh
freind: but school teaches 98% useless information
me: that's kinda true
by your local department April 6, 2022
Get the how to read mug.
A VERY useless item, the most useless item
Human one: Human two is like a book on how to read
Human two: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT
by AVeryDumbHuman May 27, 2022
Get the a book on how to read mug.