Jesus 

The thing that suffers and dies arbitrarily at the hands of the Schizophrenic horde. You should be this (so I don't have to... I'd rather be a part of the horde. Or the guy that tells them to do it to you)

Hym "What the fuck? No. Jesus Christ! How about instead of trying to imitate everything you see (like the stupid filth monkeys that you are) you just acknowledge that it was not a good thing to do to a guy and don't do that? But hey, don't listen to me. I'm not a doctor."

Jesus by Hym Iam July 23, 2022

Jesus 

M0istcritkal

He is Jesus

Jesus by Euwua July 26, 2022

Jesus 

An absolute gigachad. He will love you, even if you've sinned. If he lived longer and had a child he'd be the best father no cap. He loves you no matter what you are, whether it be gay, woman, man, child, etc,. He is a forgiving man and sacrificed his own life so people could go to Heaven even if they've sinned in their life. Literally amazing. An absolute gigachad. Even if you hate this man, he will still love you, but it's still a good option to love him if you were or are a Christian.

Bro got crucified and still forgave people, unlike Twitter or YouTube users who won't forgive someone because they dislike a certain show.

#StanGodandJesus

Person 1: I hate myself. No one will ever love me, and I am pathetic. Why can't I just die?

Jesus: But I love you and I always will.

Person 1: I love you.

Jesus by HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA September 8, 2022

Jesus 

bitch magent.

i am a jesus

Jesus by THE GOD OF DICTIONS September 23, 2022

Jesus 

A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.

Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!

Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!

Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?

Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!

Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!

Jesus by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022

Jesus 

Son of God, loves endlessly, died for our sins. always forgiving.
john 3:16

“i’m sorry for being such a jerk.”
“it’s ok, i forgive you and Jesus does too.”

Jesus by lovedbytheSonofGod October 1, 2022

Jesus 

Prophet in Islam, NOT A GOD

juilo: i worship jesus
muhammed: let me educate u, jesus is not god, he is prophet
julio: understanded, i will become muslim now

Jesus by lol rap god November 16, 2022