spank the monkey

to masterbate; vigerously stroke your penis untill you reach climax or skeet all over the place

i spank the monkey every day until my fuckign dick peels

by the one and only whtie e-40 December 13, 2008

spank yer monkey

to give oneself manual gratification.
i.e to masturbate

bob got turned down so much last night he went home and we yelled Bob go spank yer monkey

by i.p freely July 24, 2008

monkey spank

men fucktard townie

A guy who wastes his time spending hours playing playstation or spanking his monkey (masterbating).

Erika: "Sean, why are you being such a monkey spank? You've been playing playstation for fucking hours! Why don't you do some homework or hang out with your girlfriend?"

by The Anrkissed May 11, 2008

smack the monkey

A Slang word for Male Masturbation

Guy: What you gonna do tonite?
Other Guy: Im gonna smack the monkey!

by jo4n5 July 15, 2005

spank the monkey

to have a wank cf choking the chicken

i'm just off to spank the monkey

by dum di dum September 12, 2006

Spank the monkey

An American state sport, in other words, jacking off. Numerous other ways of saying this include Beating the meat, playing the devil’s fiddle (for you Christian white guys).

Viktor: Dude, you gotta come see this photo of Mia Khalifa!
James: Gimme a sec, I’m gonna go spank the monkey...

by Goddamnit James February 7, 2018

monkey spank

A phrase that means sperm, male reproductive cells, jizz.

I hate having monkey spank all over my keyboard after I watch porn.

by mfmc April 6, 2010