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Minerals Management Service

(US GOVERNMENT) Agency of the US Department of the Interior. The name has since been changed to "Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement" (BOEMRE). The laws related to minerals management in the United States are possibly the most poorly thought-out in the developed world, and were largely designed as a strategy to launder money through crooked politicians. The MMS was created manage the oceanic coastal shelf (OCS) resources, and naturally it became one of the most notorious dens of corruption seen in the entire world.

The MMS is set up so that the temptation to be sleazy is almost impossible to resist; indeed, taking bribes is practically standard operating procedure in this agency. That's because the MMS was responsible for enforcing environmental and safety regulations on things like offshore drilling platforms, and yet made its income from revenues from the lessors it was regulating.

MMS officials would actually let oil company staff fill out inspection checklists in pencil, so that MMS inspectors would then fill them out as the operators wanted.
Given Minerals Management Service pencil whipping in the Gulf prospects*, it was a miracle that Transocean was ever cited for safety violations at all.

MMS is famous for parties in which executives of oil companies went drabbing with federal managers.
___________________________
*Here, a prospect is an area where oil prospecting occurs
by Primus Intra Pares July 24, 2010
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time management

A term used by managers to justify inaction when subordinates complain that their workload is excessive.
S: "I just don't have enough time to do all of this work."
M: "You would if your time management was better."
S: "I suppose you're going to tell me you have an 'opportunity' for me now aren't you?"
M: "Damn right I am!"
by Adam Evans January 11, 2009
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Anger Management

A commonly misused phrase, used to describe someone with anger issues. Used after the film of the same name came out.
Fuck! You've got anger management!
by Twatty McGee October 12, 2010
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facilities management

The act of shitting in another man's ass and fucking it for the sole purpose of looking busy
Well I'll be damned if I ever rely on facilities management to get anything done
by Albert11 February 21, 2008
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anger management

When a person manages to stay angry throughout their life- no matter which direction it is taking
No matter how her life is going, she is always pissed off! She's a case of anger management, if I've ever heard one.....
by Meadow Soprano November 17, 2005
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management

A major that, as a condition for acceptance, requires the applicant to be unskilled in any area of recognized professional expertise.
My dad didn't want to do any work, so he majored in management. It's company-sponsed welfare.
by Blake Martin January 21, 2004
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Lean Management

The act of running a profitable business into the ground by removing the resources and support. Also called the death spiral.
Sorry, but the Lean Management principles say that you are fired.
by Kelly January 5, 2004
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