Today is the Day 

Awesome Noise Metal band from Nashville. Have played with well known bands like Mastadon and Lamb of God

Today is the day rocks!

Today is the Day by GaaraoftheDamned September 23, 2012

Today years old 

A thing millennials say to intentionally sound like they have damage in their Broca’s area

I was today years old when I learned this *left side of their face starts drooping*

Today years old by TheAlwaysCorrect1 January 21, 2023

Today's Music 

A common rant by internet users who bitch and whine about how today's music is 'shitty'. They fail to understand that everyone's music taste is different, and that it's another fashion. The phrase 'today's music' is commonly used by middle-aged people, but the younger generations also bitch and whine.

"I can't believe this is today's music! What happened to 80s music? Or (insert dead musician here)?! I can't stand this shit, even though I can just listen to my own music on youtube videos and download them, but I wanna bitch and whine because I'm old.

I can't believe a black man's president!!"

Today's Music by IReallyWantAPineapple March 8, 2010

Today's substitute teacher 

A hoe. Just a hoe, nothing more, nevermore.

Today's substitute teacher is a bad one.

Today's substitute teacher by Just a human doing human thing October 31, 2018

Today Notice 

When giving your employer notice of your resignation, you kindly offer a "today notice" rather than a "two week" notice.

Disgruntled Employee: "On 'Bring Your Child to Work Day' my boss told me that he didn't care that it was raining, I still had to walk 6 blocks to pick up some cupcakes for his fat kid."

Friend: "What did you do?"

Disgruntled Employee: "I turned in my 'today notice.' I quit today."

Today Notice by Memphis in your review mirror. May 21, 2011

Today money 

If you're on a contract for a day and get paid end of the day in CASH, its today money! not tomorrow money, or day after money or end of the week money...today money.

Hey dude, look, lets do this little job, its only going to take two hours. I'm talking today money here...

Look kid, If you want today money, cut my grass!

Today money by udon'twannaknow February 22, 2011

today's 

When you take a woman you impregnated the night before, take her fetus and show it today’s new light by ripping her fetus out of her yeast filled stomach and thrusting it into the air and saying simba everything the light touches is our kingdom before promptly throwing it into the trash can.

Jim did today's with Christina.

today's by Changa of Chimmies October 8, 2019