A bunch of repressive, middle to upper-class bitches. They always live in those Suburban neighborhoods, they are almost always a conservative republican, or conservative democrat. Soccer Moms are the reason for all of the useless censorship rules. They are snotty, rude, arrogant, and bitchy. They usually drive huge-ass SUVS, which they load their "precious, adorable, awesome, and better than everyone else" brat kids into every weekday for some kind of sport. A soccer-mom basically lives through her kids, she has them out doing all of the things she wanted to do as a kid. Her husband is never home, because his wife is such a repressive bitch, and won't have sex with him because she's afraid the kids will here them. Thus, he screws his secretary. A Soccer Mom will not allow her kids to watch any movies over the rating PG. She usually is involved with PTA meetings, and does snack days, is selective with who her kids can be around, and who they can't.
Soccer Moms fail.
by greenpeas August 19, 2009
A 30 to 50 year old woman, usually straight, whose whole life revolves around their children and "empowering" themselves by trying to censor anything even remotely violent, vulgar, or bad in any way. Some have tattoos just to show how tough and empowered they are.
Their children are usually maladjusted due to their parents not letting them see anything remotely "bad" or vulgar, even when they are teenagers.
As implied by the name, their children play sports, usually soccer. Soccer moms can be identified by a generic sticker on the back of their car, or a "My child is an honor student at <insert school> Middle School" bumper sticker.
They also drive SUVs even though they do not need them, and cause many accidents. They are very active in their children's school activities.
Their children are usually maladjusted due to their parents not letting them see anything remotely "bad" or vulgar, even when they are teenagers.
As implied by the name, their children play sports, usually soccer. Soccer moms can be identified by a generic sticker on the back of their car, or a "My child is an honor student at <insert school> Middle School" bumper sticker.
They also drive SUVs even though they do not need them, and cause many accidents. They are very active in their children's school activities.
by Luigi30 November 04, 2004
Contrary to Definition 44, a Soccer Mom is not a selfless, sainted holy person providing for her angelic children. She is usually white, 30-45 years of age, and is forever boring everyone around her with stories about her kids soccer skills. The cell phone, starbucks coffee and large minivan/suv are invariably part of her identity. Also she is consumerist, wasteful, oblivious to her effect on others, lives in a bland suburb and is usually a right wing Christian fanatic. Has no career aspirations. Bitch. A waste of ammunition
The brainless soccer mom drove 80 in the 30 zone while taling on her phone and driving her kids to soccer.
by Andrew5646465 October 27, 2005
White, middle-class, middle-aged female. Hair pulled through the back of the baseball cap, into a ponytail. Usually seen "driving" a very large SUV. Also seen at stop signs staring aimlessly with their mouth open waiting for an open spot in traffic. Usually doesn't find one, so they pull out in traffic hoping to make their own spot. Thus causing an accident, which is paid for by their husbands income. Seen as an active parent at school. However, they never talk to their children because they have a cell phone blocking their ear, that they constantly scream into. Participating in booster clubs, PTA, church organizations. Ironically, you can find them cursing at the cashier because he couldn't return their curtains that they bought over a year ago, but never found time in their oh-so-busy lives to put up. All of this is usually done in front of their 'christian' children, who are going to grow even more mindless than their role model of a mother. Occasionally they go in flocks to the nearest mall, and trash every department they step into, throwing shoes on the ground, leaving once-hung items lying on the floor. Sometimes you see them running for the nearest open register, and fighting with the women that casualy strolls in front of her, explaining that she was there first, and doesn't have time to waste. She has to drive her one or two children away in an SUV that comfortably seats 8, so they don't miss their sports practice, or dance recital. Inflating gas prices mean nothing to these women and their gas hungry SUVs, because they haven't paid for anything with their own money since they married the father, who gets drunk twice a day, and comes home late into the evening. Lastly, these soccer mom's only answer to "homemaker"
A soccer mom is the lady you've seen on the side of the road yelling into her cell phone, standing next to an SUV with a flat tire. Don't offer help, she'll never appreciate it.
by Chriswizzle May 24, 2006
Beasts from hell. They will try to censor anything. Responsible for Columbine and Sadamm ever being the dictator of Iraq. Drive large things known as minivans, which are usually larger than normal vans. Take their kids to soccer games and cheer them on all the time, even when their kid sucks more balls than a 3 cent chinese whore. Their minivans are sized between that of an M2A3 Bradley and M1A2 Abrams Main Battle Tank.
Sergeant Ha was in his M2A3 when he saw a soccer mom who was late for getting to see her kid's soccer game rushing towards his tank. He quickly fired off a missile, destroying the monstrosity and her personnel carrier. What's that? What about her family? No problems, just fire a missile or 654 at their house.
by that guy that kicks ass February 17, 2005
A suburban stay at home cumdumpster who thinks that her opinions count for anything. Usually seen driving an overpriced SUV, talking on her cell phone, and yelling at her kids for stepping on the Macy's bags-all at the same time. Have a tendency to smugly advertise, with bumper stickers, basically everything. Are known for lobbying for tougher alcohol regulations, gun laws, and censorship. Just another good reason to make the laws about homicide more lenient.
"Holy shit! Some soccer mom in her Escalade nearly ran me off the road because she was talking on her cell phone instead of paying attention to the road.
by herrsquidward October 06, 2007
A stupid bitch who say their "sweet little angels"/bratty teenybopper kids are more important than anything in this fucking world. They are usually seen at Price Chopper buying 74894845894848794894896589589 pounds of shitty vegetables and not good stuff. The kids are brainwashed into thinking they are the best and are usually popular at school. They are only allowed to listen to shitty stuff like S Club 7 and B*Witched.
by Blahb February 08, 2005