Intellectual Masturbation

speaking for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off your supposed intellectual and linguistic capacities.

John continually goes on about the merits of Times New Roman. He does so in a completely self-absorbed, disinterested tone.

John- (weary tone) "You simply can't comprehend the intrinsic value of Times New Roman font to our society and the way we decipher the world. There is evidently a plethora of ways it has effected our daily experiences."

Tim- "John, do cease your intellectual masturbation. It bores me to an umpteenth degree. My finely tuned ears were not designed for your incessant blabber."

by Harrisburg Dairies December 23, 2011

maxerbation

to masterbate for a lengthy time, twizzling the head (tip of the penis) throughout

masterbation for half an hour whilst twizzling his bell end,

basically, Maxerbation

by Firhill April 24, 2008

Masturbation Tag

A playground game that involves one player who is designated as "it", to chase other players while masturbating in an attempt to tag or touch them, usually with their ejaculate. The tagged player then becomes 'it' and must chase the other players while masturbating.

Also known as Jerk Tag.

I started jerking off & everybody scattered & ran, so I chased them like we were playing a good ol' game of Masturbation Tag!

by amygo June 20, 2011

Masturbation Rotation

1. A mental list of people that make you want to touch your genitals until it is

time for a nap. Subjects may be picked at random or fantasized about with

premeditation. The list varies in length and changes often with subjects often

being paired up with other list members... also see Spank Bank

1. Your pretty face has earned you a reoccurring spot on my Masturbation

Rotation.
2. She is a bitch but people on the Masturbation Rotation don't talk.

by Hugh G. Rection Jr. July 14, 2013

Ninja Masturbation

Masturbation (by a man) that takes place silently.

Harry has Ninja masturbation skill!!

by e4r5t6y7u8i9o0- November 25, 2010

retaliatory masturbation

The act of masturbating over somebody who annoys you, in retaliation. Could be used as an act of revenge or just as an excuse to masturbate over them.

Man 1: 'Hey dude, that really really really really hot girl unfriended me on Facebook.'
Man 2: 'What are you gonna do about it mate?'
Man 1: 'Chillax mate, I already got her back through retaliatory masturbation.'

by Alan Pincus13 November 26, 2013

academic masturbation

Spending your life researching things that, although may be on point, nothing will be done to progress the area actively. Implicated in life sciences for example

Going to university for 7 years to become a lecturer within that field for the rest of your life is an act of academic masturbation

by freeseed March 31, 2015