Intellectual Masturbation

Word used by stupid, narrow minded and superficial people to describe things that they cannot possibly understand.

Billy: The Socratic Dialogues about Good and Justice are the product of intellectual masturbation.

Bob: But philosophy has put the basis of lawmaking and it's believed to be the mother of science, why do you use this derogatory term?

Billy: Uhh, whatever dude! I have more interesting things to do than listening to your bs! w00t! I am going to eat some salami and masturbate on some amateur porn! w00t!

by intdes April 25, 2010

mental masturbation

1. In academics it is the practice of using faulty premises to draw a conclusion.

2. The pretense of superior knowledge or intelligence by claiming conjecture, theory, feeling or opinion as fact.

The facts used to describe the cause of Global warming is an exercise in mental masturbation.

by unlending May 9, 2009

Mental Masturbation

The act of figuring out why the world is fucked up, but that you can't do anything about it... but bitch and moan!!!

See Intellectual Jizz

I know what to do about the middle east situation

Dude stop. That is just Mental Masturbation.

by Equites April 9, 2004

masturbation

The act of blowing ones nose. Too much masturbation can cause chafing and not enough can cause build up of fluids.

"hand me a tissue, I need to masturbate" "I think I'm sick, I've been masturbating all day" "jimmy uses masturbation to clear his sinuses"

by Tranchinafy April 12, 2011

Frenzied Masturbation

When you're shaking hands with your best friend and it gets out of hand. You work yourself up into a frenzy until you come.

"Oh man, Kelly Brook is so hot, I need to knock one out ... ah ah ah ah ah AH AH AH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god my dick is bleeding! Ah AH AH AH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHH! Time to chalk another one up for the ole frenzy."

by Celebrity Love Island bites the shit July 3, 2005

Clown Masterbation

Clown masterbation occurs when you put your penis in a large rainbow wig. Then you rug vigerusly until you cry and bleed (at the same time).

So dude how did you get into the circus?
Oh I had to do some clown masterbation

by ianz. June 6, 2010

mastervation

The act of innovation not to serve a pressing human need, but just so you can say you innovated.

"Do we really need an app that claims to be a gamified 'Uber' for 'AirBnB'? Seems like that is just mastervation."

by Mastervator prime May 25, 2015