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as helpful as tits on a bull 

as helpful as tits on a bull something or someone that is more of a hindrance than a help
as helpful as tits on a bull my new refrigerator is more of a hindrance than is a help to me
Related Words

babysitter's helper 

NOUN:
Duct tape, used as a restraint, or for purposes of muffling human speech, cries, or screams.
"I couldn't get the kids to behave, so I threatened to use babysitter's helper on the little ankle-biters and they straightened right up."
"Some babysitter's helper across the mouth might get her to shut up."

santa's little helper 

a hot little booty that works for the ceo
Jimmy: Did you see the skirt on santa's little helper?
Sunny: Man, it's good to be santa, given her presents and all.
santa's little helper by Bombsky February 26, 2010

helpiana 

A twitter slang used by stan twitter as a way to say "help" when someone tweets a disturbingly funny tweet, a stupid tweet, etc.
Fan Account: OMG I ATE CHALKS ACCIDENTALLY
Stan Twitter: HELPIANAAAAA 😭😭
helpiana by mekuheluh June 14, 2021

self helpful 

a condition of somebody that reads a lot of self help books and thinks they can solve every problem in life, often recommending these books to their friends instead of actually listening and giving genuine consolation
"I'm so bummed-out caus i just broke up with my boyfriend"

"o, i had that problem once too, you should totally read insert annoying self help title here."

...() () (thanks, you're so self helpful)

self helpful by pixelfairy June 24, 2008

Little Helper 

A term used to describe a player stuck shuffling cards at a poker game. It used in (home) tournament poker play when someone is eliminated from play, thereby having nothing else to do. The term is typically applied to male players as the diminutive term "little" adds an extra jab. The term is synonomous with "shuffle beotch".
"John, don't shuffle the cards. Give them to Julio, he's our little helper."
Little Helper by Haggis McToe February 6, 2009