filthy wank

When you masturbate while having a shit.

Ally just went for a filthy wank. Dirty bastard.

by eujuan June 25, 2017

Golden Wank

Jerking off with a condom on

Oscar is doing a golden wank in his room

by Ya Boi 6969 April 21, 2016

Shank and Wank

When you're killing a person via shanking and your jacking off in the process.

Did you hear about McSplooge committing his 455th murder. I heard he did the shank and wank technique.

by Jascebalon July 9, 2016

flop wank

masturbating with a flaccid penis

He couldn't get it up, so he had a flop wank and hoped for the best.

by Ryem May 2, 2016

Dangerous wank

The act of sending ones housemate out to Tesco's to buy chocolate, muffins and wine in order to masturbate, naked in the middle of the living room, hoping that you can finish and redress yourself before they return home.

Margaret: What did you get up to last night?

Glynis: I had a dangerous wank whilst Brian popped to the shop for a pint of milk and some fishermans friends.

Margaret: Ooh, that sounds like fun.

Glynis: Yes, it was delightful.

by slapyourstick October 14, 2011

The King's Wank

A jack off session so great, so utterly phenomenal that it could save the world from all it's problems.
The King's Wank is said to happen on July 22nd 2028 at 11:36PM East coast time. in which a man will fulfill the legendary prophecy.

It is said that the producer of The King's Wank once fulfilled, will ascend to a higher plane of existence.

The King's Wank will come soon.

by Snozingly7 January 28, 2023

hive wank

A distributed collection of wanking by many at the same time. Something that would likely be triggered by a major event such as mass encouraged working from home.

Woah, with everyone working from home at the moment, there must be some serious hive wanking going on.

by snowmoon March 16, 2020