The largest douche bag on the planet. Has both mommy and daddy issues. Fails to comprehend even the most simplistic sentences and ideas. When he speaks everyone who hears it is instantly made dumber. He fails in school, in life, and in every other way possible. He is more unattractive than a $20 dollar a night motel bathroom. He thinks that the world is flat and that science is something you drink. His clothing choices have all the charm of a Klan rally. Jared likes his mom... a little too much. Jared is descended from a long line of complete morons, and he lives up to the standard his ancestors set.
by JimBobCooter1969 February 6, 2019
Get the Jared mug."JARED can you read the sentence"
"No I can not"
"Hey whats up, my names jared and I never learned how to fucking read"
"No I can not"
"Hey whats up, my names jared and I never learned how to fucking read"
by dEfInItIoNs SuCk February 16, 2019
Get the Jared mug.by Pussyeater96 September 10, 2018
Get the Jared S mug.The Jared move a skill move in soccer. You would dangle your foot over the ball for about 2 seconds then move one way, and trick your opponent and go the other way. The first to use this was Jared and it has been used all over Australia and the globe
by The Jared Move May 15, 2018
Get the jared move mug.Jared is a hardworking individual who values his woman and his children above all else. He enjoys watching TV and taking long naps in his free time. He never hesitates to drop the F Bomb or call you a dumbass but that's just his special way of saying that he loves and cares about you. People that know Jared know that he may or may not have a drinking problem but people that are especially close to him know that he has his reasons for tipping back a bottle the way he does. When Jared gets comfortable with someone he will let loud stinky farts fly and blame it on the cat that wasn't even on the same floor when it happened. Jared might seem like a hard ass but in his heart he is a real genuinely caring man that will always help someone who needs it.. even if it mean that he is going to have to go without. Jared can be a very curious man, but not curious enough to leave the comfort of his spot on the couch to go out and satisfy that curiosity. He secretly has a lot of pain and hurt under his tough outer shell but you would never know that unless you were living in the same house as him and he decided to vent to you after having a bit too much to drink and he was feeling extra emotional. If I'm being truly honest I would day if you have a Jared in your life you should call him up and let him know you care and that you value him as a friend because it's not every day you meet a guy as friendly and goofy as a Jared. Oh yeah.. and as stubborn. Almost forgot that one.
Jared is a great significant other and a wonderful and loving father that anyone would be blessed tremendously to have in their life.
by Walker Tech Drive Ranger August 10, 2022
Get the Jared mug.The most fattest bussy you will ever see, makes you cream when he walks in the room, and you will never be able to fall out of love with him.
by CrowningDickhead August 23, 2022
Get the Jared Hill mug.Jarely is the most amazing person you will meet. They’re kind and sweet and will legit move mountains for you. They tend to not get the love they deserve so make show you show them their much needed appreciation
Jarely: *exists*
Everyone Else: wow 😯
Her overly protective and possessive bestie: FUCK YALL LOOKKNG AT
Everyone Else: wow 😯
Her overly protective and possessive bestie: FUCK YALL LOOKKNG AT
by You.Already.know.who.it. Is September 4, 2022
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