Luxury wipe

The wiping of ones arse with one or several baby wipes after defecation. The soft baby wipes are gentle on the sfinkter and have the added bonus of a washing effect, making the user feel fresher than with regular paper. The sensation of luxury feels even more prevalent when the user has diarrhea with a very sore sfinkter or feces that is particular sticky making cleaning with regular paper particularly time consuming. If the user cannot access baby wipes one can improvise by spitting on regular paper. Face wipes used to remove make up will also do nicely.

The other day when I visited Tom and Claire they had prepared curry vindaloo for supper. The stuff went right through me though and within minutes on the toilet gave me a burning ring of fire. The pain was so bad it made my eyes water. Thank fuck they had baby wipes laying on the shelf so at least I could have a luxury wipe.

by Norsemann September 11, 2011

pipe wipe

Wiping your anus with toilet paper when you use the bathroom.

A pipe wipe and I'm out.

by Ereck Flowers November 20, 2018

Spray and Wipe

A financial term that describes the process of laundering money across a project's total price in an attempt to hide expensive single components (refer Pink Elephant). Which, as a result of its own complexity, makes each individual component impossible for the 'spray and wiper' to either justify or explain. See also Poofter Chook for a description of the outcome.

Hey Gabe, the price of those engineers is way too high! You'll have to Spray and Wipe their wraps.

Customer: Why is the price of that equipment so high this year compared to next year?

Contractor: Ah it must be because, umm, I'll have to get back to you..... This is a classic Poofter Chook outcome of the Spray and Wipe.

by Singapore Frosty July 7, 2010

bum wipe butty

A sandwich with a filling the same consistancy of what can be found on toilet roll after cleaning up. Any paste type filling or tikka/coronation chicken filling on white bread can be described as a bum wipe butty.

That looks like a bum wipe butty you're having for lunch

by elvis the dog February 19, 2010

Wet Wipe Ass Syndrome

When you wipe your ass with a wet wipe, and the shit is still there then dries up causing a irritating itchiness that demands that you take a seat somewhere and scratch the shit out onto you underwear causing you to say that it was all worth it

Uh man got that damn Wet Wipe Ass Syndrome. Why did i have to use that damn wet wipe to wipe my ass when dry paper is good enough. Never again

by alaskanhybrid October 22, 2009

cock wipe

An article of clothing, usually your partners shirt, used to clean up your donger after sex.

I used a cock wipe to clean myself up.

by chupahunter September 24, 2003

dip n' wipe

A dip n' wipe is the process of dipping your toilet paper in the water to aid in the removal of sticky fecal matter on one's anus. Best if done following a courtesy flush to ensure the use of clean water.

That cheeseburger made my crap so sticky I had to do a dip n' wipe to remove it.

by Magikchef March 17, 2009