one bite short of an apple

The term used to describe an individual or group of individuals who display a certain degree of insanity by making up excuses that are implausible to the extreme in a feeble attempt to deny responsibility for their mistakes.

Boss: "What time do you call this, your 6 hours late."

Employee: "I'm really sorry I'm late sir I was err.. abducted by aliens, on my way way in. They returned me to earth in the middle of a field and the nearest train station was twenty miles away. I definitely didn't spend last night clubbing and get up 6 hours late."

Boss: "Who do you think you are kidding? You must be one bite short of an apple if you think there's any hope of me believing that!"

or

Fictitious mobile phone manufacturer: "Our phones appear to have poor reception when held because our stupid customers are hold them the wrong way. The 'signal strength formula' feels intimidated by humans and gets it's maths wrong whenever it is in the centre of a fist. This makes the poor innocent little formula accidentally display the wrong number of bars. The call quality appearing to drop is purely coincidental, as is us releasing an insulation cover and recruiting eight new antenna engineers. There is definitely no design floor. Even if there was, it is definitely nothing to do with the very sensitive revolutionary external uninsulated antenna. The antenna is just being ridiculed for being pure genius, by people without any imagination. All you have to do is imagine it works perfectly and you won't find a single fault. This worked just fine for us during testing."

Anyone with at least half a braincell: "They really must be one bite short of an apple if they think anyone is going to believe any of that!"

by iCantMakeCalls July 7, 2010

In Between Bar

A bar where the music is too loud to talk, everyone is too white to dance, and there is nowhere to sit

Hey man, wanna go to the In Between Bar?

Fuck no

by rd19 February 28, 2011

Camel Bite

to slap another persons body using a slightly cupped hand, usually done on the inside of the thigh

"I'm gonna go camel bite Mason"

"Damn, look at the red mark from where Callum camel bit me"

by I'm a bitch, but not yours February 23, 2015

Cumming between Buttcheeks

Cumming between buttcheeks-I stuck my penis between her big juicy sweaty buttcheeks last night and she squeezed them up and down between my dick and I felt the sweat between her asscheeks and couldn’t take anymore so I pulled out after hours of her sweaty juicy buttcheeks dominating my cock and came in the middle of her right buttcheek so much and I used the cum on her asscrack to do it again.

Cumming between buttcheeks-Putting your dick between a girls buttcheeks and her twerking until you glaze her buns

by ButtcheekJob Fetish March 18, 2019

Massachusetts Horse Bite

When a ladyfriend performs oral sex whilst chewing gum, and then at the moment the gentleman is about to finish, she bites down on the gum and his dongelberg at the same time.

Jeremy went the way he always wanted to go, he got a Massachusetts Horse Bite from a tramp. May he rest in peace.

by A Very Dissapointed Person September 23, 2011

the in between

the stage between friends and dating. dating with no label. the stage after talking but before dating. the in between stage does not have to lead to dating

Ryan and Cici are in the in between stage

by Perfetcs January 2, 2020

Bourbon Street Shark Bite

Find a plastic shark that was thrown aside and stick it in your pants. Once in your pants, you have realized you have just been contracted with every STD know to man because the plastic shark was festering in vomit, blood, urine, and poop on Bourbon Street.

Sailey was drinking her 4th hand grenande and found a plastic shark on Bourbon Street. She stuck it in her pants and chased men but started feeling a burning sensation and then died hence contracting the deadly Bourbon Street Shark Bite!

by Sailey Bean April 6, 2011