Pocket-philosopher

Someone who tries to be deep, but just comes off as pretentious, or having no life experience.

Guy 1: "People just are horrible, human beings are pathetic creatures and everyone is garbage. Live life as you please, because you only get one."
Guy 2: "Wow, playing pocket-philosopher today are we? What other common sense covered in sugar are you going to give me next?"

by JuneEagle May 23, 2018

philosofuck

One who spews their pathetic philosophy in a pretentious manor.

When Marvin said, "Well, if you just sit here and do nothing, you're guaranteed to fail," Jimmy responded, "thanks for the news, philosofuck!"

by Cleer Mynd August 10, 2012

Facebook Philosopher

An individual whose Facebook statuses are often chiched quotes such as "when in doubt, just take the next small step", "make peace with the past so it doesn't screw up the present", or "sometimes its hard to understand, but time tells truth." These give the impression that said Facebook user is wise, when in fact they are merely putting on airs.

A: "Wow, Jeff is pretty deep!"

B: "Nah, he's just a Facebook Philosopher"

by twentyXDsix July 31, 2009

philosopher

One who spends his life pondering questions that no one has asked, which have no answers, for use in debates of no meaning.

Refutation of the Nonexistence of Impossibility has successfully refuted empiricism, nihilism, subjectivism, constructivism, pantheism, intrinsicism, solipsism, objectivism, nominalism, conventionalism, materialism, accidentalism, irrationalism, emotionalism, representationalism, phenomenalism, agnosticism, intuitionism, theism, skepticism, esotericism, probabilism, rationalism, foundationalism, coherentism, atheism, relativism, mysticism, altruism, idealism, fatalism, hedonism, humanism, inhumanism, pragmatism, sensualism, utilitarianism, egoism, anarchism, animism, determinism, behaviorism, capitalism, transcendentalism, dualism, collectivism, cannibalism, axhilism, libertarianism, dogmatism, egalitarianism, immoralism, individualism, existentialism, interpretevism, logicism, meliorism, multiculturalism, reductionism, secularism, socialism, stoicism, and aestheticism.

You can negate all existence and meaning through philosophy. Of course, you can argue that philosophical reasoning is limited and refutes itself, but that is also a philosophical argument.

by Killing Kittens November 17, 2004

Philosopher Kink

Thirsty for philosophers, commonly Aristotle

Zach: Taylor thinks Aristotle has beautiful eyes?
Molly: Yea he has a philosopher kink.

by Molly😘 November 29, 2021

Couch Philosopher

An individual who starts a typical day at 12:30pm to 1pm, and before doing anything they rip from a bong. Many are men in their late teens to early 20s living at their parents house (without any desire to leave) and if they aren't taking college classes online they are taking a gap year (or three) before deciding to sack-up and go to college where they would have to socialize. They are most commonly known to smoke weed ALL day watching their favorite animated shows in the basement and only having enough money to make a run to Taco Bell or some other grease trap. The typical couch philosopher doesn't have a car and just walks everywhere or bums rides... if they do have a car the oil hasn't been changed for about 5 years. Their favorite activity is to sit on the couch all day coming up with as many reasons why weed is the best thing in the world, how society should just smoke up 24/7, how they love licking liberal taint, and how cigarettes are so much worse for you. What they don't realize is that weed made them an apathetic fuck....A "Couch Philosopher"

Person 1- Why don't you like going to Dave's house?

Person 2- I actually wanna do something with my life and I feel like his laziness is going to rub off on me...plus i don't wanna hear those couch philosophers lecture me on the advantages of weed all day and why i shouldn't smoke my cigs.

Person 1- Shit.... your right, Daves going nowhere in life

by Pnation July 18, 2012

Philosopheres Stone

A turd that emerges after a couple of hours of intense concentration.

"Jesus Christos, I read that whole book producing that philosopheres stone."

by Jtron 3000 October 3, 2003