Technological Tourettes

A syndrome in which one gets so incredibly infuriated by technology the emotion boils up in one monosyllabic outburst; usually the word FUCK! Most commonly suffered by I.T. personnel but also know to affect smartphone users and elderly people with more than one remote control.

Bob's lost spreadsheet induced technological tourettes and got him a three day suspension and a lot of dirty looks from his bible-thumping co-workers.

by House, I.T. March 15, 2010

crappy technology

to take a shit in ones laptop.

how did you computer break?" "just some crappy technology

by stackattack January 8, 2011

Technologically neutered

To strip technology of all meaningful features, thereby violating its original intent to solve problems in an automated way. This is typically done by an enterprise through a series of decisions made by folks with no understanding of technology, e.g. legal or risk. Fears that drive to these decisions are typically focused on trying to prevent behaviors through technology limitations, without isolating that the issue is the behavior. The end result will likely be a set of technology that looks similar to the current technology set, just with a different look and feel on top of a fundamentally rearchitected platform typically costing millions of dollars.

The approach would be equivalent to not allowing knives in the cafeteria for fear of stabbings vs not hiring people who won't stab each other. Only technologically neutering costs much more.

They technologically neutered the SharePoint environment by removing everything but the list and document library. It is no longer usable for its core collaboration functions.

We have technologically neutered our mobile email by not allowing attachments.

They technologically neutered their CRM by turning off the workflow features.

by ColdheartedMatt May 8, 2012

FM technology

FM Technology (fucking magic technology)

Highly advanced term used to define any technology that you are unfamiliar with.

How does your email automatically transfer to your phone?
FM technology.

by tinav December 6, 2009

Technological Osmosis

The term Technological Osmosis is a jargon term used in technically focused organizations that rely heavily on email communication. The term refers to the ability to understand a technical requirement even though the requirement has not been communicated. The term evolved to add levity the common communication Faux Pas of neglecting to attach a document.

Usually used in the negative.

Example:

Sender - "Please design the solution in accordance to the attached requirement's document"

Response - "I am sorry that I lack technological osmosis skills, please attach the attachment to the previous email."

by J. Steel February 11, 2010

afro technology

A politically correct version of Nigga Rig

You gotta be more PC ("bitch" is optional here). It's not Nigga Rig, it's Afro Technology ("bitch" is also optional here).

by white boy56 July 9, 2009

Institute of Technology

A college of the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities which is the only university branch worth attending. Contrasted with the Carlson School of Management and the College of Liberal Arts, the Institute of Technology (IT) is populated by people who don't deserve to be kicked in the balls (Carlson students do; CLA students have none to be kicked). Most IT students could kick your ass in any academic endeavor, and they'd be willing to prove it, because they're nerds.

Carlson student: "I see by your intact testicles that you attend the Institute of Technology!"
IT student: "Why thank you, Carlson student! Now stand still with your feet four feet apart."

by College Student 101 January 21, 2006