Gammon Guitar

A moist pink instrument, with the texture of pork, but salty tasting and firm to touch.

That Jane was in the bathroom for at least an hour the other night, stuck my ear to the door to see if she was ok and it sounded like she was strumming a tune on the old gammon guitar

by cheffykins January 2, 2012

Tom Gammon

Tom Gammon is a world wide superstar. Mainly known for his 2 inch chode, bullet nipples, cows lick and BBM hoes. You can find this wild creature lurking around the streets of kingswood. Its mating call is 'Muaaa Muaaa'

Look at that twat over there with his boner chode, Tom gammon

by BillyHaynes1000 June 13, 2013

Gammon Herder

A journalist/politician or other public follower who has the power to sway the opinion of angry gammons.

'Did you see Piers turn the gammons against Trump? Hes one hell of a Gammon Herder'

by Javiwhite January 7, 2021

gammon draps

a bit like beef curtains, but from a different butcher, they still open and shut in the same way tho, usually used in a term of endearment

moan doll giess a look at your salty gammon draps

by weekend jaikey January 14, 2008

Hand Gammon

Play on words of "Hand Cannon", this entails putting your hands inside of two piglets anuses and using them as melee weapons to thwart off your enemies.

I'm going to use my hand gammon to beat him to a pulp!

by miggHD July 11, 2018

gammon goalposts

a tasteful pseudonym for female genitalia.

I kicked my purple football straight between her gammon goal posts!

by darren hanson April 27, 2004

Peter Gammons

A fall from grace where one falls from respectability to laughing stock at an alarmingly fast pace.

Wow, Mike pulled a real Peter Gammons after losing the election!

by Mattpat11 January 8, 2005