ferret no-no

Things that you shouldn't do, whether or not you own a ferret. Such as,
(1) Not looking where you step.
(2) Not looking before you sit.
(3) Leaving your purse unattended.
(4) Leaving doors open.
(5) Leaving cupboards or drawers open.
(6) Sleeping naked with the door open.
(7) Leaving candy or cookies or soda on the coffee table when you go to the bathroom.

(1) Dan did a ferret no-no and broke his leg in a man hole.
(2) Mike did a ferret no-no and sat on a freshly painted bench. (2) Pat did a ferret no-no and got a man hole surprise when he sat down at the nude beach.
(3) Sally did a ferret no-no and got her purse stolen out of her grocery cart.
(4) Clarence did a ferret no-no and got his TVCR stolen.
(6) Pam Anderson did a ferret no-no and it's all over the internet!
(7) James Bond did a ferret no-no and someone slipped him a mickey.

by Willy Dickinson, therapist August 1, 2006

Ferretism

The religion of the one true saviour, Dobby. Ferretism shall be celebrated on Fur-idays with the worship of holey socks.

Ferretism is a new world religion

by WildChild 06 November 7, 2017

Chutney Ferret

One who is light on his feet i.e. one who jumps puddles; a bender; a shirt-lifter; he who enjoys the company of knob jockeys; a tail-gunner.

The Dale Winton - he's a chutney ferret, or I'll eat my own ass!

by big_jurgen March 25, 2009

ferret pelt

Refers to a woman with a "landing strip" muff. So named for the slender nature of the ferret.

The wifey got a bikini wax and went from a full crow's nest to a ferret pelt.

by wolfbait51 June 9, 2011

Neg Ferret

A person who thrives on negativity. Somebody who never manages to say anything positive but can waffle on for five hours about the negative side of anything.
Commonly observed in disgruntled employees.

Prit: "Hey, Adie, we've got a 10% pay rise this year"
Adie: "That's rubbish - I wanted 15%. And a bonus. And a car parking space. And another laptop. This place is crap"
Prit: "Shut up Adie, you're such a neg ferret"

by Mr. Positive July 16, 2008

Tea-ferret

A ferret trained especially to serve tea. A true tea ferret is always attired in a pink apron and carries a silver tray with green cups. Originates from the village of Bree in Middle-earth. The most favourable master of a tea ferret is Dominic Monaghan, but they will serve tea to any who treat them properly and feed them lollipops on a daily basis.

Your tea-ferret seems to be a bit down. Have you tried showing him eyeliner-pics of Dom yet?

by zimraphel March 10, 2004

Smug Ferret

1. A condescending poet/artist/philosopher whose arrogance exceeds his wit.

2. Dick Cheney

3. Fucking twat

Lady #1: "Did you see Aaron at the reading last night?"

Lady #2: "Smug Ferret."

by BerniceMcTrick November 13, 2007