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Mental Masturbation

This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.
See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.
by gordon getty November 13, 2011
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Dirty Rattus Masturbation

The act of cutting off the head of a rat and "neck-fucking" it. The term rattus comes from the latin meaning of the rat family. It is best to masturbate this way in an apartment and/or tenant infected with rats. People do this because the insides (blood and guts) of a rat feel like the next closest thing to a woman's vagina. In Dirty Rattus Masturbating, there is no need to disinfect the rat. If you would like to disinfect the rat, please look up "Sterilized Rattus Masturbating".
"I was staying at a cheep hotel in New York City by myself and took it upon myself to Dirty Rattus Masturbate." (infinitive of Dirty Rattus Masturbation.)
by nilano's other friend February 6, 2009
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masturbation

the act of fucking yourself thus stimulating the genetails mainly
fuck iam the master of masturbation
oh fuck yes give me tugjob
fuck you and fuck off its a joke
just give me a handjob
fuck off
by Jackroll July 22, 2008
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Masturbation

Pull your penis out of your pants and put it your mouth
Kyle masturbation meaning he is a dude probably gay
by Ilike2eatpussy December 22, 2018
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fensturbation

For certain sexual acts - such as coginus and fensturbation - there are no English equivalents. They should be used only in the original Latin, usually in whispers.
Wilma: What's your pet peeve, Bruce?
Bruce: I hate those Liberals who are always saying fensturbation is normal and natural - until you do it in front of them.
by dildo777 January 14, 2022
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constitutional masturbation

To Masturbate in a very patriotic way. Often will be done while listening to the national anthem, while watching the president give a speech, Or while cloaked in an American Flag
Guy 1: Dude last night i did some constitutional masturbation.

Guy 2: Theres nothing more patriotic than that, you know what ill be right back i need to go masturbate whilte listening to the national anthem
by Gentalmansmiley June 20, 2011
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National Masturbation Day

Jimmy- hey you ready for tomorrow?

skyla- whats tomorrow?

jimmy- national masturbation day!
by zigguziggu October 14, 2019
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