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Carpet cleaner

You or your partner grow out your pubes and other body hair for 7 months then drink cleaning supplies and throw the resulting liquid up on the hair of the recipient after this rub liquid in good wait 30 mins then proceed to lick them clean.
I gave that bitch a good old carpet cleaner.
by Thunder storm February 11, 2020
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Carpet Wiper

Wiping your rusty sheriff's badge like a maniac after a nice solid bowel movement. Instead of using small strokes to ensure a clean behind, a carpet wiper makes multiple aggressive passes with the same TP. It makes a similar sound to cleaning a carpet stain.
This guy at the office makes me uncomfy when I hear him wipe. He's a carpet wiper for sure & I'm concerned about the status of his balloon knot.
by Smooth Oper8or March 9, 2020
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Related Words

Carpet Walker

A derogatory term used for office workers that work in a production or warehouse environment. This includes engineers, sales people and any sort of middle management who spend most of the day on the computer. They are typically detached from the production/shipping process, lack knowledge of the time needed to complete projects and are notorious for making promises to customers that they don't have to keep.

The term comes from the floor they spend most of their time on, usually being a carpeted office as apposed to the cold, hard concrete of the warehouse floor.
Freight: "The new sales guy keeps asking me to ship things out today"
Manager: "We've specifically told him 3-5 days for shipping"
Freight: "Yeah he's a carpet walker, always making promises he doesn't have to keep"
Manager: "He's going to get fired"
by Life_indk June 16, 2021
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carpet slut

when your dog violently rubs its tiddies on the carpet
Archie stop being such a carpet slut.
by thankiest thanker November 19, 2021
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Carpe Annum

A term meaning "Seize the Year" coined in 1995 by author and speaker Jay Payleitner as a takeoff on "Carpe Diem." Payleitner later created a 250-word inspirational essay making its way around the internet. (Below is an excerpt)

CARPE ANNUM
Advance with grace and assurance into the next twelve months. What you will achieve, whom you will be, one year from today has not yet been determined. The mind gladdens imagining the possibilities.

Surely, there’s work to be done. Lessons to be learned. Mountains to be moved. Dark forces to be vanquished. An urgency, yes. Yet tempered with patience that accompanies an eternal perspective.

Begin by doing what comes easy. That’s your sweet spot. A gift to give back to the world. If you can dance, dance. If you can build, build. If you can teach, teach. If you can hug, hug with all your heart.

Proceed with excellence. Then be ready. Sometime in the next year—serendipitously, but not really—you’ll discover a truth that changes your life forever.

Step into your mounting quest with confidence, not compulsion. Each day is long, but the year is short.

Strive not for 365 endeavors. Breathe. Pause. After all, there are trees to climb and stars to count, dandelions to pick and lullabyes to whisper.

To seize each season, do what's right in front of you, and do it better than anyone thought you could. Live in your own lane—not someone else’s—doing what you’ve never done. And the year will be yours. The best ever.

-- Jay Payleitner
"For lots of reasons I did squat in 2021, but I pledge to Carpe Annum in 2022. Or not."
by /chief December 31, 2021
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Carpet nurse

A nurse who works in administrative offices, makes rules for bedside nurses with no idea what it's really like.
"She's a carpet nurse, she'd never do hands on patient care".
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Carpentersville

A town where normal middle-class Hispanic/Latinx and Black families mainly reside. White people surrounding the area shame the town for being "ghetto" just because they see minorities prospering.
White person: "Stay clear of Carpentersville, it's full of Mexican and Black gangbangers!"
Normal person: " Just because crime rates were high in the 90s doesn't mean everything here is ghetto."
by FoxRiverRat July 16, 2022
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