Johning

(Verb) act of masturbation involving long object (exp. broom, pole, stick) inserted into rectum for prostate stimulus.

I was johning so hard it broke my broom

by Marco Pole May 26, 2025

Johning

When someone blames bad gaming on something that is completely unrelated to the game.

Person one: “I’m telling you bro, my game is just buggy and that’s why I’m playing terribly!” (This man has an RTX 4070.) Person two: “quit johning bro, you have a godly graphics card anyways.”

by 𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 December 22, 2024

Johning

To mess about or act silly, said by someone trying to prove authority but in a humouross way

People messing about:
“Can we all please stop johning about

by John the Johner April 09, 2024

John-ing

The state of going through "the struggle", simply not thriving.

Joe: "Damn bro, I'm straight john-ing right now."
Tina: "I'm sorry your life sucks."

by SpicyChickenSandwich September 24, 2022

Johning

When your friend John starts Johning in soccer at lunchtime, by selling out his whole team

John has the ball, then kicks and misses the goal 5 feet in front of him.

We call it Johning!!!

by Reizirth December 10, 2024

johning

Johning is the act of making excuses for your loss upon losing a game, the most popular explanation being a "faulty" controller. It's most commonly seen among Smash Brothers and FPS (CoD, Valorant, OW, etc) gamers. Someone who frequently johns after a game is called a john, Mr. John or simply John. See also "Salty".

An example of johning:

(Player 1 attempts to perform a recovery but fails miserably, ending the match)

Player 2: Ha! I won fair and square!
Player 1: Dude, my controller was definitely faulty. Those buttons were sticky, thats why I didn't get my up special.
Player 2: You're blatantly johning, were you even *trying* to recover?

by HecatiaLapisLazvli October 04, 2024

Johning

Smoking weed

I’m so high from johning in the bathroom between classes.

by Coopedaloop November 09, 2020