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to complain or bitch about something insignificant.
Mark: It's so hot in here. I'm sweating so much. I wish it was colder.

Bill: Shut up Mark. Quit johning all the time.
by Huge Duong October 06, 2010
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From the verb "to John". A sexual act in which a frozen or otherwise solidified poo is inserted into one's sexual partner in order to cause pleasure. The specially frozen or solidified fecal matter is often referred to as a "lovebrick" or "mudbar". The act of inserting one or more "lovebricks" anally is sometimes known as "Turtlebashing" or, more commonly, as "logging". The cold burns and sores created by these acts are oftentimes called "johnrings" or "turtlebites".
My girlfriend wanted to try something kinky, so we've taken up Johning.

My girlfriend didn't seem to like it when I Johned her last night.

Logging is very popular with American teenagers.

I could tell she was a prolific logger from the turtlebites on her backside.
by Sheeppaste April 20, 2009
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"that idiot is johning" comparing someone to a dirty bathroom in the south United States and shore wood parts, usually covered in semen and feces. The bathroom is there for untouchable.
That guy is practically the definition of johning I wouldn't go near him.
by Jonah Rehbein-Jones October 06, 2012
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Shoving a tube up two peoples asses and pooping through the tube and swishing it back and forth through the tube.
Im gonna john your mom with a big glass tube with no lube. Johning is the best.
by mudbar26 January 02, 2018
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The act when you fuck up bad or banging.
Hey carl get the fuck out of the room I am johning my girlfriends
by Anon2020 July 19, 2016
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