Toddlerbrain-Science

The extension of extremely basic, if not primative, child-like problem solving skills into an adult decision-making environment--where making good decisions based on sound principles of reasoning REALLY fucking matters.

My mommy says that all my prayers will be answered, that I'll see grandpa and kitty-cat in heaven and that all I really need to be successful in life is faith in our divine creator.
<<Really? You're twenty-fucking-five years old. You have no job, lodging or source of legal tender. You are an adult, totally dependent on yer 'mommy' for existence... I've got an idea! Why don't you shit in one of your hands and have god shit faith in the other...see which one fills up first. Without doubt, your Toddlerbrain-Science will serve you well...

by YAWA June 16, 2018

toddle off

To walk away. To evade. Immature avoidance tactic used by adults in order to escape facing responsibilities.

Don't just toddle off when I'm talking to you Markus. Don´t be such a pussy.

by rperazag May 10, 2010

toddle off

To walk away. To evade. Immature avoidance tactic used by adults to escape facing responsibilities.

Don't just toddle off when I'm talking to you Markus. Don´t be such a pussy.

by rperazag May 10, 2010

sweeney todded

to kill in a vicious, cold-hearted, malicious way.

that motherfucker deebo owed me $10. he ain't pay me so i sweeney todded that assclown.

by assclown fucktart January 27, 2008

Toddfather

An angry leprechaun rugby player who swears a lot and plays penis tag. Toddfathers's are vile and vulgar creatures. The often have beards that look like a bird's nest that belongs to a really bad hoarder. Toddfather's are sarcastic to the core. You can spot a Toddfather by their standard greeting; the extended middle finger on either hand blank stare and scowly eyes. Toddfather's are dangerous if not caffeinated or intoxicated. If you encounter a sober Toddfather be cautious, move slowly as their vision is poor and based mostly on movement. Under no circumstances should you enter a bathroom after a Toddfather has evacuated their bowels.

Random guy at a bar: "That guy just came up with his dick out, touched my hand with it, said 'tag, your it', flipped me off and walked away"

Random guy's buddy: "Ahh yeah. Fucking Toddfathers."

by phizzledizzle December 24, 2020

toddies

tiddies but on the down low

At the dinner table if you don’t want her parents to know- “hey babe, I’m gonna touch your toddies later”

by djwaffles917 April 21, 2019

Illinois Toddler Fondle

An illinois toddler fondle is when you are having sex with a pregnant girl while getting a handjob from the unborn child.

"I didnt know she was pregnant until I felt the good ol' Illinois Toddler Fondle"

by nolawalking February 24, 2009