dildo

An individual who does not have the competence to live in the real world; an annoyance; a tool

Jon is being a dildo today. God he can be a real bitch sometimes.

by Greek November 2, 2005

dildo

a plastic shlong

since my mom is too fat to get laid, she uses a dildo to 'excite' herself which is kept under the bed

by dr. chazzy chaz February 29, 2004

dildo

a fake penis, usually bigger than the real thing. Althought it is supposed to be a replica of a penis, anyway it vibes as no cock has ever done. It doesn't cum, doesn't enjoy being sucked and it's the only dick that can penetrate a female ass with no need of begging. Ann Summers' shop assistants have never tried a dildo.

(real dialogue held in London)
me: Hello, I'd like to buy a dildo for my g/f. Which one do you like best?
shop assistant: We sell a lot of these (she shows it to me)
me: well, is this the one you prefer?
she: no (she laughs)
me: so, which one do you use?
she: I don't use any
me: never tried any?
she: no
me: goodbye (and didn't buy any of them)

by paddy garcia January 25, 2008

dildo

a sex toy that varies in size, shape, and color that can be used by the female to pleasure herself when she cannot get it from a person.

My dildo is hot pink and has 3 different settings!

by pimpette January 12, 2005

dildo

Another name for an electric zapper used to torture pledges during fraternity initiations.

"The Phi Eta Mu uses dildoes on their pledges."

by loujx November 13, 2007

dildo

I don’t think we can explain this here but it’s a pink phallic object.

“Hey dude, use dildos.”

by unfunny minecraft player February 5, 2020

dildo

Phallic object, often made into forms of male penises or of similar type. Often, dildos do not have to be manufactured: cucumbers and police sticks can be converted and turned to dildos at users expense.

I use my finger dildo on my girl to maker her have multiple orgasmss. Yup.

by UCidiot April 21, 2003