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The Church Of Homestuck

A fictitious (???) religious group believing in the foretold events written of in Homestuck, a fictitious (???) work by MS Paint Adventures (abbv. MSPA) author Andrew Hussie. This man is well-known for sporting a pair of incredibly luscious lips (and also due to his comedic talents, which are by many people's standards of the highest caliber).

They support the philosophical theory of casual determinism and believe in offshoot timelines, and that the world was created by adolescent humanoid aliens called "trolls" from the planet Alternia in another universe, among other things. They are currently preparing themselves for the coming apocolypse (which will directly correlate with the release of a beta-mode game entitled Sburb, or something similarly derived) by reading the webcomic itself. Real followers know that Gog and Jegus are fictional deities first named on the whim of an incredibly ironic thirteen-year-old boy (and a blind troll chick) who meant to parody the parallels between human and troll culture.

Members of this group can be identified by their candy-corn colored horns, which vary in shape, size and material as well as quality. Sometimes they go gallivanting about in Homestuck merchandise purchased from the What Pumpkin and Topatoco online stores, though they are not the exclusive caterers to this fashion, as many casual Homestuck fans are willing to break open their piggy-banks to get at the tiger (...hoodies). May occasionally paint themselves grey.
Probably a better alternative when compared to most organized religion.

"But sir! We have to prepare for the coming apocalypse! Listen! The universe is a giant cancer-ridden frog! Don't you understand? C A N C E R !" - average Homestuck trying to spread the word of our lord Hussie

"The Church Of Homestuck" originally conceived by paper pie on tumblr.
by not a homosexual August 16, 2011
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The Church of Firnando

"We are the church of Firnando, here is our tale. We formed when our High Priest happened upon our God, our Holy Lord Split in Twain, the Cleaved One, the pinnacle of rubber duck physique, FIRNANDO. We began our journey when we were deceived by the infamous Betrayer. Since then we have evolved towards our goal of world acceptance. We act in Firnando's name to create a world of acceptance"- Presumed DJ Liam, council member

The Church of Firnando is the only Firnandowist worshipping center in the world, as of November 2020. Firnandowists praise the lord Firnando the cleaved one, a rubber duck split in twain who arose from the depths of a sacred claw machine. Their holy book, The Firnandonomicon, consists of eleven commandments, tales of Lord Firnando, and a number of psalms (composed by "Presumed DJ Liam"). You can read more about The Church of Firnando on their wix-cite that goes by the same name.
High Preist: "Ever been dead inside? join the Church of Firnando, and either become happy or die a human sacrifice! either way, you won't be sad anymore!"
by Church_Of_Firnando November 12, 2020
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Westboro Baptist Church

A group of nutjobs who hate the universe. If you are atheist, baptist (WTF???), protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, or any other religion on the planet, they hate you. They hate soldiers, America, The UK, Australia, and any other country who refuses to publicly execute gays and "dykes".
Hey, are those those Westboro Baptist Church weirdos protesting the univesre?

Yeah, I guess it was only a matter of time.
by MULTI_MEDIA_MAN November 22, 2009
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Church of Cliff Richard

Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason

Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.

These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love

Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:

And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:

“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”

Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.

Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.

Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”

Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Westboro baptist church

A church that practices the literal meaning of the bible. They believe that the Tsunami was a good thing because it killed 'fags' and 'dykes'. They also believe Hurricane Katrina was 'God's' way of punishing America because apparently, in their opinion, 'God hates America'. These guys are a bunch of sad, uneducated, religious kooks who need to stop dictating what 'God' thinks, because how would they know? The answer is they don't. They construct a 'God' figure as a way to express their personal views on the world, these people make me sick and I can only hope that one day they will forget about prejudice and hate.
According to the Westboro Baptist Church, God Hates Fags, God Hates America, God Hates Sweden, God Hates Canada, and after this definition is posted God will apparently Hate Australia because that's where I am from!
How can anyone take these people seriously?
by Anna July 3, 2006
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activated charcoal

A black liquid(and sometimes in tablet form) that is used to filter out any poison or chemical harmful to the body.

Most often used in the ER, when someone overdoses on something whether intentional(suicide attempt) or accidental.
Tina wanted to end her life so she OD'd on tylenol, her mother found her 30 minutes later in the bathroom and took her to the hospital where she was given activated charcoal to absorb the all those nasty chemicals she had taken.
by tonitewedineinhell April 9, 2008
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Farting in church

Just keep looking forward, trying not to snigger and ignore the horrified expression from the old lady next to you.
Example: Does this entry need one? Oh OK then. Farting in church.
by JaaagMan February 26, 2012
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