Calm Before the Stork

(n.) The time during a woman's first pregnancy during which nobody talks about the baby or being pregnant for maybe 2 seconds. This calm, almost eerie silence, usually occurring early in the 3rd trimester, is soon shattered by childbirth and the spirit-crushing, torrential shit storm that follows after.

See Also: That part in "Deep Blue Sea" when people start getting eaten, but Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the survivors find a minute to collect themselves and make an escape plan, and Samuel L. Jackson is giving a speech about how they have to unite to escape the genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks, but then, suddenly, one of the aforementioned genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks jumps out of the water and bites him in half.

Though it seemed for the time being that everybody had stopped speculating about his unborn child's future athletic prowess, physical attributes, and the huge amount of responsibility it takes to raise a child, the man was not fooled.

He knew that it was just the calm before the stork.

by Consopite May 21, 2011

Calm Like A Bomb

adj. Used to describe someone who rarely gets angry (once or twice a year at most) but when they do it usually consists of them going apeshit or turning into bruce lee.
Not exactly healthy because it requires burrying anything that pisses you off until it explodes.

Some Guy: Dude does that kid ever get mad he just found out his girlfriend was screwing a fratbro?
Another Guy: Rarely but when he does its armageddon, dude is calm like a bomb. Never know whats gonna go down.

by MausMonkey June 13, 2010

chalmskin

in the simpsons episode 'any given sundance' lisa simpson's documentary about her family was entered into the sundance film festival , the production/editing company was called 'chalmskin' a formation of 'chalmers' and 'skinner', it was saw in the episode they were not let into the premier of the simpsons documentary or any of the other sundance films until, they were discovered after lisa's film premier.

''oh dick mabey we should invest in the chalmskin film company, i don't know ann, there last film did'nt sell well at the box office''

by XxXfailed&forgottenXxX December 31, 2008

calm the fuck down

Used when someone is asking too many things at once.
It is used when you are trying to get the first task done and received many more in rapid succession.

Aqil: Make sure /etc/resolv.conf is up to date
Paul: On it
Aqil: Here's another task; reinstall the OS on the new servers
Paul: Will do
Aqil: Here's another task; upgrade the SAN
Paul: Ok CALM THE FUCK DOWN

by apxcirrus September 12, 2013

Chaimae

Aka the hottest bad bitch in this game, highkey edgy and dank, she got the best memes like 10/10 would make your day. She is loyal genuine and super strong mentally and spiritually, she is highkey kinky like KINKY kinky, yet she is so soft and adorable.

Chaimae got the looks, the brain, and the humor, she is wild amazing and always there when you need her.
She genuinely cares about everyone and honestly she would die for a kitten.

A: Omg is that chaimae?
B: oof look how amazing she is, gosh I need a chaimae in my life.

by Ffsineedausername May 15, 2019

Calm ya passion

Exclamation used as an attempt at calming an apparently agitated, restless, anxious and generally worked up peer, who may or may not be having a disruptive influence those in his immediate surroundings.

PH: "The live server's gone down, the entire business is disrupted!"

JC: "Calm ya passion, calm ya passion!"

by Travvo April 22, 2009

calm your lumps

Calm your lumps means something different depending on who it is said to. If said to a female, it means "Calm your tits." If said to a male, it means "Calm your nuts." If said to an adolescent, it means " Calm your pimples."

Mom, calm your lumps!

Stop busting my balls, calm your lumps!

by Woodyslumps December 29, 2016