The act of deceiving a receptive sexual partner into thinking you're unwrapping and putting on a condom, while in reality you're simply unwrapping and consuming a candy bar. Success depends in large part on your partner's non-visualization of your hands and penis, either by means of a darkened room or sexual positioning (e.g. doggy style), as well as lack of familiarity with the feel of a bare vs. sheathed penis. May be additionally satisfying if you're able to consume the candy bar while actively having bareback intercourse.
"Sarah was drunk and totally DTF last night, but I didn't have any jim hats on hand, so I just turned off the lights and pulled an almond joy."
"My blind girlfriend was a virgin before we dated, so I felt pretty comfortable giving her an almond joy without risking an STD."
That dude doesn't like to bareback, but he's so high on ecstasy he doesn't even know that the guy behind him just slipped it in almond joy style.
"My blind girlfriend was a virgin before we dated, so I felt pretty comfortable giving her an almond joy without risking an STD."
That dude doesn't like to bareback, but he's so high on ecstasy he doesn't even know that the guy behind him just slipped it in almond joy style.
by SchlitzKicker January 9, 2011
Get the almond joy mug.The medicine to everything; in other words, The modern day holy water. Take a sip, and you will become as healthy as an almond tree that is grown under California sunshine.
Justin: Man that juice slaps what's it called
Becky: It's almond juice. Almond Breeze, to be exact. I've heard that the president beat covid by drinking this.
Becky: It's almond juice. Almond Breeze, to be exact. I've heard that the president beat covid by drinking this.
by dropwlrcartitiredofleakssmh October 7, 2020
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when chad and I did doggy at the country club, he let out days of almond butter all over my face and Gucci belt
by Delicious B!tch July 3, 2018
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Get the almond palmer mug.Someone who is bipolar. Originates from the famous ad campaign for the candy bar where the slogan was "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you dont...."
by Luis H. November 19, 2004
Get the Almond Joy-Mounds Syndrome mug.by Alex Quantashassle February 12, 2005
Get the almond rocks mug.Almond Time is believed to be of German decent. Its exact meaning is surrounded in mystery and is now only recognised in the colander of Numberportoligy. It is common place during Almond Time to give gingerbread men as gifts.
by R Mccabe September 13, 2007
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