Someone so full of themselves, that they feel their physical appearance entitles them to to be admired. At which point, they then utilize this false sense of admiration to attempt to take advantage of infatuated victims.
That douche canoe thinks that just because he tries to impersonate Kurt Cobain, it automatically makes him a talented idol, when in reality he is an unskilled parasite.
by Seattle010518 January 7, 2018

The nickname of the Raider's Reef or Pirate's Den strip club in Tucson, Arizona. Aptly named because the building is in the shape of a boat.
Dylan and I wanted to go to Band Aid's in Phoenix, but we only had enough gas money to get to the Tuna Canoe in Tucson.
by Michael Cohen61 April 17, 2021

Performing the Cunnilingual arts with such a profound skill and vigor as to cause a woman to gyrate her hips uncontrollably, inevitably thrusting them upwards with orgasmic energy enough to knock the absolute fuck out of your greasy mug and send it flying back, potentially injuring both parties.
-Dude, what happened to your front teeth!?
- Man, I wath eating Sthathy's box out and that evil little bath'dard in the pink canoe reared up and thucker punched the thhid out'a me!
- Dude, you totally got canoe slapped!! Nice!
-Fuck you, I'm gay now...want a blowjob?
-Fine, but no teeth.
- Man, I wath eating Sthathy's box out and that evil little bath'dard in the pink canoe reared up and thucker punched the thhid out'a me!
- Dude, you totally got canoe slapped!! Nice!
-Fuck you, I'm gay now...want a blowjob?
-Fine, but no teeth.
by Someone who misses their balls October 29, 2015

Euphemism for deceit, or going on the run. In reference to the John Darwin disappearance case, who was presumed drowned after his canoe was found washed up on the NE coast of England in 2002, and whose fraud was exposed by a smiling photograph of him and his wife in a Panamanian real estate agency in 2007. His wife had collected £250000 on John's life insurance policy.
'Have you seen Chris lately?' 'No but I heard the the cops were looking for him, so maybe he bought a canoe'
'Sharon is worried that Dave is cheating on her with Ronnie, do you know anything?' 'Well, I'm not saying he's bought a canoe but i have seen them together'
'Sharon is worried that Dave is cheating on her with Ronnie, do you know anything?' 'Well, I'm not saying he's bought a canoe but i have seen them together'
by Batatz March 8, 2024

by Jung kookie July 22, 2023

A person that on regular basis acts in a non polite away, typically a man, trying to repeatedly (just like you are paddling a canoe down the river) hurt you, usually doing or saying things out of spite, or spreading rumors that are not even accurate.
by JasonC123 August 14, 2021

by Rollins Budo March 29, 2022
