A layer of toilet paper (usually somewhere between 3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of water within the toilet bowl before one has a bowel movement. This layer of toilet paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-fold purpose: (1) To prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of water; (2) To soften the “KER-PLUNK!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the water (this is particularly effective because the toilet paper disables the properties of water’s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between water and air; further, the speed of the displacement of the water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) To bring about an awareness of the TP supply before use, negating any chance that one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.
Johnny: "Dude, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time last night. Halfway through the night I realised that I needed to take a massive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was dead quiet"
Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
by JPaps January 8, 2011
Get the Landing Pad mug.by getadumbassforfree March 11, 2021
Get the Langa mug.Any text in a script that the speaker is not familiar with. Often used on 4chan to describe the Japanese language.
by Logical Dash September 8, 2005
Get the moon language mug.by Avesatans December 7, 2018
Get the Michael Langdon mug.The smile that a longterm crackhead/cokehead displays due to missing teeth. The remaining teeth are spaced out with the gaps from missing teeth very obvious, thus resembling a classic Jack O' Lantern carved mouth.
by Joey Paisan July 18, 2011
Get the Crack O' Lantern mug.
Someone being pretentiously pedantic, especiallly when it comes to terminologies, for the sake of being so. While some do it intentionally, some are so deeply mired in their apparent greatness to fail to notice the frivolity of it. They receive an interest rate that keeps up with inflation on their virginity.
To be in posession of virginity with compound interest.
Something that makes you think, "Holy shit you need to be having negative sex to say that"
To be in posession of virginity with compound interest.
Something that makes you think, "Holy shit you need to be having negative sex to say that"
Sherlock Schitt "Thine eeyorish cullion hast ruined much-needed apricity...."
Hect Dolef "Sherlock, you're being a Landau. If you have bedded anyone before, I just want you to know that your virginity has been returned to you expeditiously after having used those words"
Hect Dolef "Sherlock, you're being a Landau. If you have bedded anyone before, I just want you to know that your virginity has been returned to you expeditiously after having used those words"
by くもり May 5, 2022
Get the Landau mug.