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Retard handler 

Individual tasked with maintaining control of a single tard while outside the confines of the retard school. Their duties mostly revolve around keeping the tard from going full retard and unleashing their retard strength on the public. Usually the number of handlers to the tard is an excellent indicator of a retard's strength. A one to one ratio would indicate a low strength retard whereas two handlers to one tard indicates a super strength retard.
The Secret Service is made up of the nation's most elite and well trained retard handlers.
Retard handler by Carlos SpicyWeiner September 9, 2013
Related Words

Ham Hands 

A person with massive hands that are best suited for squeezing or destroying things
"Hey Ham Hands, come squeeze the shit out of these limes for me."

"Dude, those ham hands were made for destruction. You should have been a Viking or something like that."
Ham Hands by The TOB March 10, 2010

Farm hands 

When one obtains a leathery toughness on the skin of the hands due to strenuous farm work. This benefit often lets the worker grapple steel fence posting without fear, give an intimidating handshake, and suffer through cold wet nights outside easier with the warmth trapped in the callussed brilliance of his or her hands.
"Well golly, I sure am G-rateful that i've got me some farm hands, or that'n fence post would have never come out of the ground"

"Tell Owen and Alex to start throwing that hay or I'll pinch their necks with my farm hands."

Farmer: "Great show!" "Thump thump thump"
Weakling: "Hey why are you clapping like that?"
Farmer: "It's the only way I can son, farm hands"
Farm hands by Jesse Potts November 7, 2005

Oh Shit Handles 

Often called "oshes"
They are the handles found above car doors that are usually grasped when a passenger feels that the driver is driving irratically.
When he did 75 around that curve, she had a white knuckle grasp on the oh shit handle.
Oh Shit Handles by Mel March 31, 2004

Edward Handle Hands 

A variation of the game "Edward 40 Hands" where participants use handles of vodka in place 40s the object of the game is to drink your 2 handles without succumbing to alcohol poisoning. in layman's terms the winner is the one who isn't dead at the end of the night.
Dude 1: Hey bro, Jimmy, Bob, and Tim played edward handle hands last night.

Dude 2: oh really? Who won?

Dude 1: Tim...Jimmy and Bob's funeral is going to be next week. which color polo should I wear to it?

handy bendy ghandi 

A small poseable figure of an old wrinkly political activist
With a removeable loin cloth

Mum, the dog's eaten my handy bendy ghandi
handy bendy ghandi by PGTips April 26, 2006