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Douche-canoe

Someone who puts their ex girl on his snap chat story for the new girl to see, and she gets mad. That new girl calls him a douche-canoe and proceeds to put a snap story of her own on that says "fuck you" in an act to subtweet his bitch ass
Wow he is such a douche-canoe, I hope his ex knows about me
by Big dick III July 15, 2015
mugGet the Douche-canoemug.

Cano

A much who can build a house but can’t build a bench!
by Jung kookie July 22, 2023
mugGet the Canomug.

Canoe Slapped

Performing the Cunnilingual arts with such a profound skill and vigor as to cause a woman to gyrate her hips uncontrollably, inevitably thrusting them upwards with orgasmic energy enough to knock the absolute fuck out of your greasy mug and send it flying back, potentially injuring both parties.
-Dude, what happened to your front teeth!?
- Man, I wath eating Sthathy's box out and that evil little bath'dard in the pink canoe reared up and thucker punched the thhid out'a me!
- Dude, you totally got canoe slapped!! Nice!
-Fuck you, I'm gay now...want a blowjob?
-Fine, but no teeth.
by Someone who misses their balls October 29, 2015
mugGet the Canoe Slappedmug.

Bought a canoe

Euphemism for deceit, or going on the run. In reference to the John Darwin disappearance case, who was presumed drowned after his canoe was found washed up on the NE coast of England in 2002, and whose fraud was exposed by a smiling photograph of him and his wife in a Panamanian real estate agency in 2007. His wife had collected £250000 on John's life insurance policy.
'Have you seen Chris lately?' 'No but I heard the the cops were looking for him, so maybe he bought a canoe'

'Sharon is worried that Dave is cheating on her with Ronnie, do you know anything?' 'Well, I'm not saying he's bought a canoe but i have seen them together'
by Batatz March 8, 2024
mugGet the Bought a canoemug.

Roof Canoe

someone who is utterly useless at their sole purpose
Julia is a roof canoe at cooking
by roofcanoe May 1, 2020
mugGet the Roof Canoemug.

Douche Canoe

A person that on regular basis acts in a non polite away, typically a man, trying to repeatedly (just like you are paddling a canoe down the river) hurt you, usually doing or saying things out of spite, or spreading rumors that are not even accurate.
Hameed is such a douche canoe. Every week something new!
by JasonC123 August 14, 2021
mugGet the Douche Canoemug.

Bruised Canoe

A sex act in which the female grips the penis so hard that it turns black and blue for maximum penile pleasure.
“Dude did you hear that Sadie gave Chris a bruised canoe last night? He’ll be hurting for awhile!”
by GrandpaDad69 February 4, 2023
mugGet the Bruised Canoemug.

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