masturbate

to make yourself cum so hard by a hand movement.

I'm gonna teach Robert how to masturbate

by I caught him lacking so hard March 1, 2023

email masturbate

The act of sending yourself an email.

Can I use your computer to email masturbate? I need to remind myself of something for tomorrow.

by fbunky November 14, 2013

mark masturbater

Someone who can't stop jerkin it anywhere they go. He will jerk it anywhere including school, work, church, or even while taking a shit.

Yo he is a Mark Masturbater I saw him jerkin in church!

by Feet Fucker May 22, 2014

Extreme masterbating

When you have jerked it so long that it wil pop a boner for the rest of your life.

My dad did a ''Extreme masterbating'' yesterday

by WKalas December 29, 2016

Your evolutionary originators chronic masterbators

The most powerful roast of all time. Unlike the others, this can only be used when all other resources are exhausted; it does not skip places in the hierarchy. Will beat both hierarchical roasts (your mom gay, your dad lesbian, your granny tranny, your family tree lgbt and your ancestors were incestors) and non-hierarchical roasts (your granpap a trap, your sister a mister etc.). Only susceptible to the eternal no u.

Person 1: your mom gay lol
Person 2: Hah, basic- your dad lesbian
Person 1: Pfft, weak, your granny tranny
Person 2: Don't make me do it
Person 1: Go on ya pussy
Person 2: your family tree lgbt
*Person 1 and all his family are sent to hell and the galaxy collapses in on itself*
Person 1: *comes back from death* You think you've won?
Person 2: I have. Your ancestors were incestors.
Person 1: Nope. Your evolutionary originators chronic masterbators.
*the universe explodes*

by unespectedinquisition June 14, 2018

Its like teaching a dinosaur to masturbate

-This saying is often used when you are committing something impossible. For example a T-rex trying to self pleasure with its tiny arms

"I cant figure out how to use this computer Melinda, its like teaching a dinosaur to masturbate"
"Cleaning your bisclitussy is like teach a dinosaur to masturbate"

by Danussy August 31, 2022

Casterbater

Fly fisherman who will not leave their flies on the water. Limiting their quality of fishing. A person who casts too much.

I fished with this guy today. He was a total casterbater

by fishguyd September 13, 2009