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monkey blocker

similar to cock blocking except used in instances where you are prevented from masturbating or "spanking your monkey"
shawns wife and kid are huge monkey blockers.
by w00t_vantuckey February 11, 2008
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monkey child

Someone, usually female, who is obsessed with the cuteness of monkeys.
That monkey child is obsessed with the new bonobo at the zoo!
by kidmuto June 27, 2008
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monkey dumpling

Someone who likes to have sex with fat chicks' tits.
He knew he was in the country when he looked down and his dick was in between some monkey dumplings!
by austin leonard November 4, 2008
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Monkey Tea

Normal tea, made from a tea bag that isn't a specific blend (eg Earl Grey or green tea). Comes from the Cimpanzees that were used in TV adverts for PG Tips.
"What type of tea would you like? Earl Grey, Chamomile?"
"Nah, monkey tea will do fine thanks"
by NZ Gary January 12, 2010
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Monkey Gut

“The name for your stomach after you eat a huge meal that causes your gut to bulge out and stager around like a monkey.”
“Aaaaah, I got monkey gut so bad I’m afraid Jane Goodal gonna try to study me.”
by Alibaster Slim August 6, 2012
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monkey glasses

(у кого четыре глаза тот похож на водолаза) in Russian

a) (adj :)an offensive term for a person with no contact lenses, but regular glasses, who puts safety goggles on top of their regular glasses, even when doing so for obvious safety reasons in their line of work

b) the action itself of putting safety goggles on top of your regular glasses
when you don't need safety goggles for work, do not attempt monkey glasses unless it's for a Halloween party or you want everyone in your neighborhood to sarcastically call you a buffone for all the wrong reasons.
by Sexydimma December 11, 2013
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Monkey reach around

To suck dick from behind and take nut in your grill.
Ex: I gave Jerome the best monkey reach around he ever had, he's never leaving me. He can kiss his side chick goodbye.
by baileybiitch January 6, 2015
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