absoluterally

absolute + literally

i absoluterally destroyed that noob in minecraft bedwars.

by 4bbxs December 12, 2024

Absolute Boy

The term “absolute boy” is often used as a slang expression to describe someone who is admired for their savagery or celebrated for their aggressive actions, dirtbag personality, or general degenerate vibe. It typically conveys a sense of endearment and respect.

The definition can vary depending on context, but generally, an “absolute boy” is:
• A legend or hero: Someone who stands out for their drinking skills, distasteful humour and love for their boys.
• Unapologetically themselves: Someone genuine and confident in their dirtbag identity.
• Unreliable and fun: A person who brings energy, joy, or discouragement to those around them.

Nicole: “Did that guy over there chug that beer in one gulp?”

Jon: “Yeah , he always chugs his first Guinness of the day. Fucking Legend. He’s my Absolute Boy”

by Dirtbag6969 December 15, 2024

absolutes

The comparison of two items with properties. The first being that one average item trumps the other average item but if both items are "good" then the reverese is true and item 2 becomes better.

grass absolutes turf.

meaning your average turf is better than your average grass pitch but a good grass pitch is better than a good turf.
or
brunettes absolutes blondes.
meaning your average blonde is better looking than an average brunette but a 10/10 brunette is more attractive than the 10/10 blonde

by Oh My Goodness :O December 31, 2024

absolutely jorkin my shit

A higher form of jorkin it usually in a communication form meaning to jack off in an aggressive manner

Yo I’m absolutely jorkin my shit right now and by it let’s just say my pentis

by The-jorkin-king January 13, 2025

Absolute Objectivity Bias

The delusional belief that pure, perspective-free, God's-eye-view objectivity is not only possible but something you personally have achieved. It's the epistemological equivalent of claiming you can levitate. The Absolutist doesn't just think they're right—they think they've transcended the very condition of having a perspective. Their opinions aren't opinions; they're just reality reporting itself through them. This bias is most common in people who have never seriously studied philosophy, neuroscience, or any field that might humble their certainty about certainty.

"I don't have opinions, I just have facts," said the man whose "facts" aligned perfectly with his political tribe's talking points. Absolute Objectivity Bias: mistaking your worldview for the world.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

Absolute and Relative Facts

A distinction between facts that hold independently of any perspective or context, and facts that are true only within a specific framework. Absolute Facts are the ones everyone must accept regardless of their beliefs: water is H2O, gravity exists, you were born on a specific date. Relative Facts are true relative to a particular system: the fact that "this painting is beautiful" is true relative to your aesthetic framework but not universally; the fact that "this move is illegal" is true relative to the rules of chess. The trouble starts when people treat Relative Facts as Absolute, or deny Absolute Facts because they conflict with their Relative framework.

Absolute and Relative Facts "He keeps saying his 'facts' are different from my 'facts.' But gravity is an Absolute Fact—it doesn't care about your perspective. Whether this painting is 'good' is a Relative Fact, and we can disagree without one of us being wrong about reality."

by Dumu The Void February 23, 2026

Absolute and Relative Truths

A companion distinction to Absolute/Relative Facts, but focused on propositions rather than brute reality. Absolute Truths are statements that correspond to reality in a way that transcends all perspectives, contexts, and frameworks. "2+2=4" is an Absolute Truth in arithmetic. Relative Truths are statements that are true within a particular framework but not necessarily outside it. "Stealing is wrong" might be true within a moral framework but isn't a brute fact about the universe. The confusion arises when people insist their Relative Truths are Absolute, or when they use the existence of Relative Truth to deny that any Absolute Truth exists at all.

Absolute and Relative Truths "You think your moral code is absolutely true for everyone, but it's actually just true relative to your culture and upbringing. Meanwhile, you're using that relativism to deny that 'torturing babies for fun is wrong' might actually be an Absolute Truth. Pick a struggle."

by Dumu The Void February 23, 2026