Gashtead Monocle

You take a dump on your partners eye, then smear it with your butt cheeks to create a flat round "monocle" Then spunk on the "monocle" to give it a "glass effect"

Hey Will, I heard mitch gave you a "gashtead monocle" last night.

by Billbo Baggins of Gashtead August 21, 2009

Top Hat & Monocle Discussion

To engage in a civilized discussion based on compromising with the peers you discuss tripe with, while keeping an open mind and laughing away disagreements and agreements. Usually stereotyped and portrayal of well aged men donning the garb of the usual business man and sipping on the finest of wine in front of a raging fire.

Johnathan and William are the best of friends, who share their differences through agreements. They engage in Top Hat & Monocle Discussions to show that they can understand each other without the exchange of hurtful words.

William : Do you believe Abortion is right?

Johnathon : Oh William, you do know we have no say in the beliefs of others

William : people do have the power to influence, correct?

Johnathon : People should have their own choice, I personally don't believe in taking away the lives of unborn children only because their parent isn't supposedly "ready" but why should I have a say in their choice?

William : You're right, why should we decide for others.

by The Souper Nazi May 26, 2009

munclepunch

The sexual act of masturbating into your open hand which, when covered in spunk/juice, clench and use to fist your mother's brother (or anyone who likes it).

I didn't know my Uncle was such a deviant till he asked me to munclepunch him.

by Smileypaul May 15, 2008

monchengladbach

A rather large chode-like penis

‘I whipped out my monchengladbach and the crowd went wild!’

by Chumley Walner March 13, 2018

Salty Monocle

A sexual act in which, when reaching climax, the man withdraws his penis from sexual release, then proceeds in ejaculating in a straight line up the side of the woman's cheek and circling the eye to form a monocle composed of semen.

This is not to be confused with the "Glass Eye" or "Salty Sunglasses" in which the man covers the entire eye or in a more challenging feat to pull off, circles both eyes, respectively.

"You look simple ravishing with that Salty Monocle my dear, you most certainly shimmer with a higher class."

"Last night I gave your mother a Salty Monocle, she was the belle of the ball."

"OMFG! MY EYE! X__O"

by Kevike May 1, 2009

ear monocle

a radio headset for only one ear which usually comes with a lanyard, most likely to be seen at tennis tournaments.

With his eyes fixed on his favorite player in a dramatic match on Centre Court, the tennis fan listened to tournament radio with his ear monocle to hear updates on how her rival was faring on the other side of the grounds.

by olympic1896 March 11, 2019

The Cloudy Monocle

The act of ejaculating in someones eye.

John: That vagrant over there just gave me the cloudy monocle...

Roger: Like he handed you a vintage piece of eyewear?

John: No he fucking jizzed in my fucking eye!

by PolarKingBear January 2, 2010