Just Using Their Laptops

A lie told to superiors when being caught in flagrante delicto, especially the act of sexual intercourse. From the recent Northwest Airline escapade.

Jim and John were just using their laptops to review quarterly performance figures.

by Edwin Havisham October 26, 2009

Laptop

A small portable computer used mainly for pornography

i love my laptop, it's mobile porn

by arman patatanyan September 28, 2013

Working on Laptops

a phrase that means "Having homosexual relations". Popularized in October 2009 by two airline pilots that over-shot their intended destination to Minneapolis and broke radio communication for almost an hour. They couldn't come up with a valid excuse for what happened and tried to cover up the event (very poorly I might add).

Boss: "What the hell where you two doing in the stock room together!?"

HomoA: "Uh.... we were arguing..."

HomoB: "We were Working on Laptops! Yeah! That's it..."

Boss: "Hmmm... don't know if I'm buying that one you queers"

by DudeA October 28, 2009

lactocracy

The philosophy of a governing agency, or leaders of a group of underlings or trainees, whereby the governing agency/leaders deliberately coddle and infantalize the citizens and/or underlings/trainees, based on the assumption that people should never experience any stress, should never stretch themselves in the pursuit of excellence, and should never, essentially, be weaned from the breast. Ever. This is especially prominent among irritating helicopter-parent training directors in psychiatry today.

RLF: "Hey Barb, I am still fuming that the assistant training director sent an email to all the residents telling them to look at other fellowships, and not just ours! What the heck? Why did she do that?"

Barb D: "Well, Bob, you know our reputation for really pushing the residents to become the best they can be. That puts us at odds with the current lactocracy in control of the department. Duh."

by Drs. Heather and McNamara June 16, 2011

labtop

A word that inexperienced college freshmen (most often girls) call their new laptops.

College Freshman: I just got my new labtop, it's awesome!
Experienced Geek: Laptop.
College Freshman: Yeah, that's what I said! Labtop!

by mortimer jones October 4, 2005

lagtop

An incredibly slow laptop, to the point where lag doesn't begin to describe it but is used anyway.

God, my lagtop is so slow. Probably from too much porn.

by eclestimon August 10, 2008

Laptop from Hell

This term refers to the 2020 election scandal in which the Democratic Party nominees (Joe Biden) son left his personal laptop at a repair shop and forgot about it and it then proceeded to wind up in local officials hands because it was left. A year later, former NYC mayor and personal lawyer for president Donald Trump; Rudy Giuliani, acquired a copy of the laptops hard drive through the fbi and published redacted contents of it which included various scandals. All of which are currently under investigation. Despite many media outlets claiming the laptop itself to be Russian disinformation, the fbi themselves found no evidence of such. This event has lead to much fallout in the campaign and raised many questions.

“Woah dude, did you hear about the laptop from hell”
“No what happened ?”

by SagaFraga October 20, 2020