jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.

Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.

jerking a turd by CongratulationsDave&Chrissy! August 29, 2010

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jerking off with sandpaper

something that may look like a good idea at first glance, but turns out to be a horrible one

1) "I thought that chick was gonna be fun, but then I hung out with her and I realized I got tricked into jerking off with sanpdper."

2) "Joe is such a douche... I swear he always calls me to play football and everytime it's your basic jerking off with sandpaper!"

jerking off with sandpaper by Mel Berg January 18, 2009

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Jerking It

Another term for "doing alright", or "doing well", usually in relation to general small-talk. This slang is often used in New Jersey and surrounding areas. See example:

Ted: Oh, how's it going, man? How are you doing?
Alfonso: Oh, you know, man; Just jerking it.

Ted: Yeah, yeah, me too.

Jerking It by thewanderingjew22 August 16, 2011

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Jerking Off Steam

When a man masturbates to deal with stress.

1. Before his interview, Tim jerked off some steam so he wouldn't be nervous.
2. Tim is jerking off steam before his hot date tonight.
3. I have four papers due tomorrow! I really need to jerk off some steam right now.

Jerking Off Steam by F_TRES November 19, 2009