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one legged man in an ass kicking contest

Attempting to accomplish a goal (kick ass) with some possible success only to wind up falling on your own ass. Having to try harder than the average person to reach the same success. A repeated accomplishment followed up by repeated embarrassing failures.
Melvin was a good looking guy but his halitosis made the women gag, he was about as successful with dating as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
by EmmasTatDad July 24, 2014
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dick contest

A friendly competition in which several males compare phalluses. The judge is typically a female with experience evaluating the male anatomy.
T-Good won the 7th floor dick contest; his dick is truly the greatest in the land.
by bigdickbandit February 22, 2008
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Dick Waving Contest

An activity that usually involves two people who dispute their superiority to the other. This is accomplished by the recitation of individual skills, exploits and accomplishments whose merit is questionable at best. Also, the purpose of discussing said activities serves no purpose but to prove superiority to the other.
Jack and John debated for 3 hours who had the most money, girlfriends, best car, etc. It was really just a dick waving contest that made me sick.
by J. Malik April 29, 2006
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donk contest

A car show in Austin, Texas which serves as one of the many vessels for Russians to launder money and sow discord in America.
Did Deykon take those Russian's money for this year's Donk Contest again?
by Paul Manafort October 10, 2018
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Eurovision Song Contest

The Eurovision Song Contest is the best competition out there. Many European countries and Australia compete in it hoping to win. The winning country gets to host the contest somewhere in their country. The most successful countries in Eurovision are Sweden, Ukraine and Italy. If you haven’t heard about the Eurovision Song Contest, then you live under a rock
Cannot wait for the Eurovision Song Contest this year from May 9-13. Good luck Norway 🇳🇴
by Cupcakke'sPubicHair April 19, 2023
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busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

To be so busy, that you will never finish your job
"There is no way I can finish that too!" "Im busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!"
by Frainslug November 5, 2005
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Championship Contest

A contest to determine the champion among a group of males who are either a: under the influence of some kind of drug, or b: in an alcohol induced state of competitiveness. The winner, as determined by the group watching the championship contest (who are obligated to judge impartially) wins the championship as determined by the contest.
After smoking marijuana in the Bun Shed, they decided Colin would jump down the snow covered hill first in the championship contest.
by Dr. Buns-a-lot July 16, 2008
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