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Sperm Damage

Pain, that transcends physical or mental limitations, and affects the very genetic makeup of your future children. It is more severe than brain damage.

Occurs most often when someone says something so dull, insipid, or moronic that it causes mental distress/pain.
A: Bro, if you lost all your fingers, would you still try to masturbate?

B: Dude, your question just gave me sperm damage.
by MicahJoe February 11, 2022
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Sperm Burglar

A woman who tries to trap a man by getting herself knocked up.

Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.

Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.

“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.

See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.
John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!

Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.

John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.
by Big Dongky October 19, 2019
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Related Words

Speedwagon

An honest and pure street thug turned rich businessman who spent his whole life dedicated to a guy and his descendants just because he didn't kick him in the face as hard as he could have (though he may also have been in love with him)
Even Speedwagon is afraid!!!
by Varkarrus February 14, 2017
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Spermabetes

Similar to diabetes, but resolved better with thick amounts of jizz stuffed in orally, anally or if one must vaginally.
Suffers are known as Spermabetics -and always in need of a good Samaritan - condition possibly fatal if needs are not meet immediately.
Bertie Beaver: OMG - what's wrong with him .. help. ..he's collapsed … he's fitting & drying out ..
Ceclie Snatch: Quick ask those builders to bash one out - take any hole - you can only save him with a proper filling. Didn't you know he suffers from Spermabetes.

Bertie Beaver: He should have a spermabetic tag on him somewhere - try pulling his butt checks apart ...
by clavecin1716 April 22, 2019
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Special Military Operation

It's an operation began by Vladolf Putler and its goal is to save the innocent washing machines from the persecution of the Ukrainian Nazis. If Russia didn't have an obsession with cleanliness, the special laundry operation would never have happened.
Special military operation is an honest Russian euphemism for a war of aggression.
by O. W. Tongueincheek February 4, 2023
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special investigation branch

The undercover investigative element of the British Royal Military Police. An organisation that is supposed to blend into the wider military community to mirror the effect that CID provide to civil police. In reality it is populated by a bunch of barely literate mouth breathers who spend all day taking screenshots of Facebook and being outsmarted by even the slowest witted squaddie. Most likely military group to be Swingers.
In Special Investigation Branch office:
SIB: "Look sunshine, we know you did it, confess or else"
Perp: "I didn't do it"
SIB: "Oh, you sure? Well, you'd better get out of here, we'll be watching you"
Perp: "L8rs"
by Bumsnorkler March 15, 2019
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SPESS

Space, as pronounced by Space Marines (SPESS MEHREENS) like Commander Boreale from Warhammer 40k. Considering SPESS is where most of the game happens, it stands to reason that it should be given as much emphasis as it is. Must be pronounced with Boreale's voice in order to have the correct effect, which is hilarity, as Boreale is a caricature as far as non SPESS MEHREEN players are concerned.
SPESS MEHREENS WE HAVE FEHLED THE EMPRAH!
by dplock October 10, 2013
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