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one legged man in an ass kicking contest

Attempting to accomplish a goal (kick ass) with some possible success only to wind up falling on your own ass. Having to try harder than the average person to reach the same success. A repeated accomplishment followed up by repeated embarrassing failures.
Melvin was a good looking guy but his halitosis made the women gag, he was about as successful with dating as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
by EmmasTatDad July 24, 2014
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dick contest

A friendly competition in which several males compare phalluses. The judge is typically a female with experience evaluating the male anatomy.
T-Good won the 7th floor dick contest; his dick is truly the greatest in the land.
by bigdickbandit February 22, 2008
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Dick Waving Contest

An activity that usually involves two people who dispute their superiority to the other. This is accomplished by the recitation of individual skills, exploits and accomplishments whose merit is questionable at best. Also, the purpose of discussing said activities serves no purpose but to prove superiority to the other.
Jack and John debated for 3 hours who had the most money, girlfriends, best car, etc. It was really just a dick waving contest that made me sick.
by J. Malik April 29, 2006
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prostatic congestion

The condition commonly known as blue balls in males. It most commonly occurs when a man is continually aroused but never actually ejaculates. It is caused by an excess build up of fluid from the prostate gland (the fluid that makes up semen).

I have also heard that it was a build up of stopped blood in the testicles and penis.
My wife and I were making love when the kids came home early and we had to stop. Man, had some bad prostatic congestion (blue balls)!!
by Dick Tater January 28, 2006
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donk contest

A car show in Austin, Texas which serves as one of the many vessels for Russians to launder money and sow discord in America.
Did Deykon take those Russian's money for this year's Donk Contest again?
by Paul Manafort October 10, 2018
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Eurovision Song Contest

The Eurovision Song Contest is the best competition out there. Many European countries and Australia compete in it hoping to win. The winning country gets to host the contest somewhere in their country. The most successful countries in Eurovision are Sweden, Ukraine and Italy. If you haven’t heard about the Eurovision Song Contest, then you live under a rock
Cannot wait for the Eurovision Song Contest this year from May 9-13. Good luck Norway 🇳🇴
by Cupcakke'sPubicHair April 19, 2023
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busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

To be so busy, that you will never finish your job
"There is no way I can finish that too!" "Im busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!"
by Frainslug November 5, 2005
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