Bartolo Colon

The living reincarnation of Harambe. Also known as Big Sexy, this majestic beast pitches for the Mets. He has gained a considerable amount of weight because nothing on Earth can challenge his superhuman strength.

Me: Man, I wish I was Bartolo Colon.
Friend: Who doesn't?

by Frisk This October 3, 2016

high colonic

Officially it's an enema to flush out the colon but in the slang it means to literally scare someone shitless, which has the same effect as an enema.

Chrissy in the Sopranos got a high colonic when Junior's thugs took him out to the Meadowlands for a mock execution in season 1.

by Frank Morgani May 22, 2008

colon cologne

A natural fragrance expelled from one's shitbox.

Brent dusted Stephen's living room with a pleasant mist of colon cologne as he jolted off to work.

by matfunguy July 19, 2015

Colon Three

:3 is a cat face. Used as a sort of cutesy or shy smile, playful or bashful. In real life it would be expressed with a slight, coquettish pursing of the lips.

"Did you get the new picture I sent you? :3" (colon three)

by DaystarEld February 7, 2012

Colonic Apocalypse

1. A shit so massive it leaves you wondering if you have just had an anal prolapse.

2. When one's defecation is of Biblical Proportions.

John: "Damn, Derek's 'Cayan Chili Macaroni and Cheese' concoction just gave me a Colonic Apocalypse..."

Mike: "Should I call 911?"

by Ender Castigan February 24, 2008

Colonic Jihad

Diarrhea, which is so sudden, massive and explosive that it feels like your bowels have declared a holy war.

About 30 minutes after I ate at the Chinese Buffet I had an attack of the colonic jihad. I barely made it to the bathroom in time.

by Seyler-do August 12, 2011

Colon Jockey

Someone who rides someone else’s Colon
To fuck someone in the asshole

The cowboy from the village people is a real colon jockey.

by BigGiantFish August 31, 2008