calgary 

Concrete city located 51°03' latitude and 114°05' longitude in Alberta, Canada.

The city is a giant network of poorly planned and poorly maintained road systems, causing mass congestion in a city with only 900,000 people. It sports a bare minimum 'tram' system which does not even reach the airport, and is often littered with homeless people who can ride the trains for free in downtown.

The homeless dominate the north-eastern downtown core, and even have their own purpose built hotel, with rates starting at $0 per night. The homeless population can be seen killing each other outside the Cecil Hotel.

Older suburbs are beginning to show their age and are the shanty towns of Calgary. Lack of city investment is aiding their rapid demise, and fueling the local criminal population.

Pedestrians and cars both get the green light at the same time. It's called population control.

calgary by Madtroll June 3, 2004

Calgary 

Calgary sucks. It's a city of large hats, brother-sister love, stretchmarks, and small trophy cases. Calgarians only have one personality: hick. It is the fattest city in Alberta, and the 3rd fattest in western Canada. It is not nicknamed "Cowtown" for nothing.

Calgary Stampede sucks. When the horses go through the streets for their annual redneck parade they don't bother cleaning the shit up because it just blends in with the rest of the crap in Calgary.

Calgary sports fans suck. They have a massive inferiority complex towards their northern neighbors because they have almost triple the number of championships. They are more passionate about hating the Oilers than loving the Flames. Any mention of anything to do with Edmonton will produce apoplectic rage and gnashing of teeth. (well, "tooth". It's Calgary after all)

They all jumped on the Flames bandwagon in '04 and if the Flames continue to miss the playoffs they will all jump off with a resounding crash because they are fat.

The only thing Calgary has over Edmonton is a bigger downtown, too bad it's surrounded by a giant trailer park.

What do you call 30 Flames fans in a room together? A full set of teeth.

What do you call a hottie in Calgary? A tourist.

What's the difference between a bra and the Calgary Flames? (Come one, you all know the answer).

Calgary by Die Flames April 4, 2011

Calgary 

n. Etymologists are divided over whether it derives from the Latin word, calgarus, meaning "crass," or a blackfoot word, calgaree, meaning, "strange race in cowboy boots who guzzle thick black liquid from the ground ." In current colloquial usage it is slang for "second-best."

Leno is just so calgary compared to Letterman.

Calgary by E.J. Cochrane September 14, 2005

calgary 

clean, sterile and very unfriendly city in the middle of nowhere. the only culture is macdonalds. it has nothing of interest.
most people hate calgary, it is unliveable in the winter due to the hostile climate.
most people who live in calgary are rednecks. the only difference to texas is the climate and the fact that everything is 50% more expensive in calgary.
like in texas rednecks do not believe in science, most people here believe in superstition, the average education is extremely low.
the only attraction here are the mountains. anyway, the bc side of the rockies is more beautiful and the people are nicer there.

highlight for the rednecks is the annual animal torture show.
in normal countries people celebrate by singing and dancing. rednecks in calgary celebrate by torturing and killing healthy animals like horses and bulls.

the government in alberta/calgary is bloated. cost of living is one of the highest in the world.

doctors are impossible to find, refuse service to customers.

in case of a disease you will need to go to a hospital.

calgary by fredolin July 13, 2009

Calgary 

Treeless town 600 km west of Saskatoon.

Hey, let's go to Calgary and get some mullets. You betcha!!

Calgary by Jeff the Skid December 9, 2003

Calgary 

A tiny, insignificant part of Canada that suddenly (due to it's recent oil boom) thinks it is the most cosmopolitan, hip, flourishing place to be.

While it's true that there has been a lot of economic activity since the late 90's, there are other cold facts Calgarians don't like to brag about:

- population less than 1 million (that is a small city)
- conservative politics (need I mentiond Harper?)
- completely DEAD nightlife (Electric Avenue blows)
- no diversity in employment (either you sell real estate
or you are a redneck working on the oil rigs)
- only white people live there ... i.e. no authentic
cultural experiences like food, art, social diversity

Canada has 3 important cities: Toronto, Montreal & Vancouver. There rest are strictly peripheral.

Dude: "how was the job hunt out in Calgary?"
Bud: "great. I can live here a buy a house ..."
Dude: "what the problem then?"
Bud: "Nothing to fucking do! I'd rather get back to Vancouver or head to Toronto where there is a real night life ... this place blows dog!!!"

Calgary by Johnny-Phucker-Phaster June 11, 2006

Calgary 

Perhaps the City of Calgary should be called the Shitty of Calgary, or better yet, shittyofcalgary.com.

Calgary has some serious problems that appear to only be getting worse.

Calgary by bonnelame May 29, 2008