Macturbater

One who buys and promotes the use of Apple products on the grounds that they are "the best computers in the world" but is largely ignorant about computer tech and other industry facts.

A full-fledged macturbater owns and operates the latest and greatest Apple products. They may brag about their "16GB of RAM and Retina Display" when they typically only use those features to watch porn and/or Instagram pictures of their cats with the hashtag #iphoneonly.

Stefan purchased the latest Macbook Pro and won't shut up about how great 16GB of RAM is. He uses it to photoshop photos and maybe occasionally develop CSS. I can do all that with my 5 year old Dell running Windows XP. He's such a Macturbater.

by legittalon July 1, 2012

Imagination Masturbation

The act of auto-genital stimulation to climax in the absence of compelling visual stimuli such as videos or graphic images. Often this is accomplished through accessing a spank bank or mental storehouse of sexual, or soon to be sexual memories. It also applies where inadequate visual material (e.g. Sears catalog, high school yearbook, partially scrambled cable porn) is being used as a primer to aid intoxicated masturbation.

My laptop battery died while I was at my parents house so I had to break out the local paper and flip to the girls soccer recap for some imagination masturbation.

by qroberts May 22, 2008

chronic masturbator

A man who simply has a thing against carrying a loaded weapon around all the time.

Mother: *knocks on door* Billy, what are you doing in there?
Billy: uhhh... NOTHING.
Mother: Dammit Billy, you're a chronic masturbator just like your father.

by sir gibsalot December 9, 2008

Masturbator's Remorse

verb: Refers to the feeling of remorse felt after completion of masturbation.

Does not have to be limited to the feelings of disgust after realising what you just jerked off to.

Masturbator's Remorse also refers to feelings of sadness related to not looking at a different type of porn, not coming to a good enough stimulus, not getting through enough porn and coming to soon, feelings of loneliness and deep depression etc.

Gavin just game after two and a half minutes of shemale porn, and now he is feeling Masturbator's Remorse for not at least look up some hentai.

by NicCaged November 6, 2013

revenge masturbation

Something you do to get over an ex-gf or an ex-crush. That means that during the masturbation session you go 10 times harder and you masturbate angrily.

Friend 1: I fucking hate Sandy she turned me down at the valentine's day dance.

Friend 2: oh I'm so sorry to hear that

Friend 1: ok I'm going to use revenge masturbation to get over her.

Friend 2: dude your fucking sick

Friend 1: How else am I suppose to get over this?

by casportsfan February 17, 2014

facebook masturbation

one engages in the act of 'facebook masturbation' when one decides to 'like' their own status.

'Dude, maybe if I like my own status, I'll start a trend and people will start responding and liking it and I'll finally be POPULAR!'

Michael is partying down lol haha!
Michael likes this status.

Classic facebook masturbation.

by fine_dine_decca September 30, 2009

Madturbate

What someone's 4 year old son with down syndrome says he does with the vacuum cleaner every night.

When I asked my roommate Collin's son why he uses the vacuum cleaner every night, he says he's doing madturbate.

by collymclolly January 10, 2021