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Asphyxiate the Unicorn

Just another thing to call masturbation. I guess there are just never enough ways to say it.
Larry's daughter was upset when he said he wanted to asphyxiate the unicorn, as she loved unicorns. She was more upset when she realized what he meant, and he started doing it front of her while playing xbox.
by UrbanD1CKtionary February 21, 2011
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ASPRIN

1. (Noun, Singular, Acronym) - American Society for the Prevention of Retarded Iranian Niggers , more formally referred to in the collective as the United States Military, specifically indicating certain sections of the United States Navy and Marine Corps.
ASPRIN meets on every third Sunday and every fifth Monday of the month.
by Buttfuckme April 10, 2019
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Related Words

Aspen Loeffler

A bitch who is thirsty for attention.
Daughter of the Why Don't We boys' manager who is a hoe.
"Is that Aspen Loeffler? "

"Oh you mean Asspain Loafbread? "
by oreolimelight May 18, 2018
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asprinol

One of the many generic pain relievers that do the same thing.
I have a headache man. I'm going to pop some asprinol.
by Steve Boblin August 17, 2009
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Asphinxiation

Being sick to death of unanswerable puzzles or riddles
Since they don't have the crossword puzzle hot line anymore, these riddles have caused me severe asphinxiation.
by xPIPx August 7, 2010
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Asphalt Rangers

Male or female. Activist protesting the fashion-obsessed decadence of city life by wearing backpacking gear.
Population size: Moderatly common
Habitat: Major Urban centers, green party rallies, co-op markets,

walk ten city blocks in a major metropolitan area and you'll be sure to encounter an Asphat Ranger. Easily identified by their enormous LL beanc backpacks, hiking boots, parkas and on occasion walking sticks. If you're riding the subway and the person next to you whips out a canteen, chances are you are in the presence of an Asphalt Ranger.They usually graduate from any college where drinking from a styrofoam cup warrants irreparable social ostracism. Not to be confused with hippies they don't do drugs or drink to excess, but do go a little overboard on the trailmix,
Asphalt Rangers prefer athletic bras to victoria's secret and hiking boots to sneakers, denim to silk, quality and durability are always mode important than being fashionable.
by food court druides November 23, 2010
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Asphalt Therapy

1. The act of Driving or Riding until life makes sense again.

2. A common act by gear- or motor-heads, where by traveling at high velocity down drag-strips, highways, back roads or twisties, they seek enlightenment or solutions to life's various queries and problems.
"After my dog died I just had to get out of the house, so I got in my car for some Asphalt Therapy down highway 3"

"I had a great session of Asphalt Therapy with my bike after my girl and i got into a fight"
by ClutchClutch July 12, 2012
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