gipping and handling

Derisive/resentful term which refers to the perceived act of swindling someone out of money through the misuse/abuse of postage-fees as a sneaky way of making excessive profit or otherwise "coming out further ahead" than is fair. Usually accomplished in two "opposite" ways, either by:

(1) a money-hungry mail-order company's charging excessive postage-rates as compared to the company's actual cost to ship merchandise (such as charging s&h merely based on the order's monetary total instead of the actual merchandise-weight, or claiming that the shipping-weight of a few rubber bands or a matchbook-sized pack of film-splicing-tabs has a shipping-weight of one pound, when any blockhead would know that they could just stuff the feather-light items into an ordinary letter-size paper envelope), especially with the bulk-rate/volume-discount postage deals that big corporations typically get from their shipping-services, or
(2) a stingy/disgruntled customer's purposely sending less funds for postage than the company specifies, with the smirky idea that the company will not want to risk offending the customer and causing him to cancel his entire order --- and then probably take his future business elsewhere --- by their whiningly contacting the customer or returning his order to ask for more funds.

The "gipping and handling" strategy can be a highly effective/successful countermeasure to use when ordering from companies that charge exorbitant postage-fees merely in an attempt to make additional "free 'n' clear profit" from unused postage-funds. What you do is draw up a fairly "large" order --- i.e., one that involves maybe fifty bucks or more (either by ordering one or more expensive items or a bulk-purchase of cheaper items, so that it totals a sizable amount), and thus will be sufficiently "tempting" to the company to make them reluctant to risk "losing" the order by upsetting you in any way. Then you just "accidentally on-purpose" neglect to use the company's "official" printed order-form that came with their catalogue --- you instead just use ordinary lined paper of your own to write out the order, and so your order-sheet no longer contains the company's shipping-rates chart, allowing you to simply write in your **own postage amount** after the subtotal! Oh, sure --- the company is probably gonna include a "debit memo" notation at the bottom of your invoice when they ship your order, but that's of no concern of yours at that point, since --- ha ha ha! --- you already have your merchandise, and so you can simply ignore their blubbery request! Awwww.... you greedy fat-cat CEOs didn't get your extra profits from **me**, the way you do from all of your other "sucker" customers --- too bad, so sad!!

by QuacksO November 22, 2017

Quicken Loans Cattle Handle

When you pay a discount rate for a dry handjob while on a business trip to a rural area. The Quicken Loans Cattle Handle usually occurs in the backseat of a crew cab Chevy 2x4, while the handjobist's father is trying to buy dip in the Love's Gas Station. If timed improperly the Quicken Loans Cattle Handle can have disastrous results, including STI's, Blueballs or a Napoleon Complex.

Man I had to go to Oklahoma on a work trip, The wife made me promise not to do any cheating so all I did was get a couple Quicken Loans Cattle Handles to clear my head.

I got a Quicken Loans Cattle Handle yesterday, but her dad got out of the shell before I could finish.

by Kort's favorite Buttboy April 23, 2018

Ripping and Handling Fee

When passing a vape or smoking apparatus around the crew, rips are allowed to any person handling said vape or apparatus in the process of moving it from one person to another. Said tax is called the ripping and handling fee.

Kelly: Pass me Elizabeth Suorin
Ryan passes Suorin to Henry to hand to Kelly
Henry: I’m gonna take a ripping and handling fee

by huyrealcool November 19, 2019

man-handler

Someone who cannot resist the urge handle the male sexual organs.

Get you hands out of my pants, you man-handler.

by Chris Dixon September 20, 2003

Pussy handle

The handle in most cars that you hold if your old or a total pussy.

I don't have any pussy handles in my car so people are forced to be scared shitless by my driving.

by Jeff K October 10, 2002

oh shit handle

the handle that is attached to the interior of most cars above the window of the passenger seat. when riding with a dumbass driver, or haulin' ass through or around rush hour traffic, the oh shit handle becomes very convenient for whoever's riding shotgun.

oh shit handles should be used with a little caution, as one's hands could become one with the oh shit handle, and as unfortunate and unlikely as it seems you must first have your dick welded to a rock to have it removed.

by Black Button September 30, 2008

HANE

acronym. Heroin Addict No Eyebrows

I'd never sleep with a HANE, unless I, too, was a HANE.

by andrew mk December 12, 2008