flatitude

a state of mind where one's life revolves around talking about how flat they are

GOD!! Dumbo has some real flatitude problems! It's all she talks about now like can she shut up?!

by SquitartedSyd March 10, 2020

Flat Schooler

A play on flat earther, analogous to science and evidence denier. Despite ample evidence suggesting that schools, with proper measures in place, are relatively safe spaces for children and teachers to be, the flat schooler will have a finger in their ears. With a dangerously myopic worldview, inability to comprehend nuance, and a relatively low-ish IQ (under 110, though not always), they'll insist that schools are currently "germ factories" and that children are "plague rats". When one points out that the risks of closing schools outweigh the rewards, they just might call you selfish or a sociopath. This is projection.

This variation of idiot will often be found parroting phrases such as "trust the experts" and "trust the science". Except of course, the experts and scientists who say transmission in schools is low. Including Dr. Fauci, Unicef, CDC, and more.

Flat Schooler: "Trust the experts!"
Rational person: "Including when they say transmission is low within schools, and that schools are safe?"
Flat Schooler: (cognitive dissonance activated) "They're just covering up unsafe schools!"
Rational person: *eye roll* "You're such a flat schooler"

by dodia April 9, 2021

Flat Earther

Someone who doesn't believe something if they see it right in front of them.

We sent a flat Earther into orbit, and he said he thinks the windows distorted the Earth to make it look round, so he wouldn't be able to trust his own vision.

by Dozenal>Decimal July 21, 2022

Flat azz goofy

They broke or got no money

craig: yo cuh you Flat azz goofy
jay: who
craig: you cuh

by blackpeas November 9, 2022

Flateus

The lesser known brother of the Greek God Zeus, less popular due to his well known abysmally rank and uncontrollable farting problem.

We must hide, my dear Persephone, as I can smell my unfortunate brother Flateus approaching, his terrible pungent scent is surely unmistakable!

by Dr Bunnygirl June 2, 2023

Flat Earther

Someone who is dumb as fuck.

Guy 1: I’m a flat earther
Guy 2: bro you dumb as fuck

by dabigmothafucka July 14, 2023

flat tire-dness

A state of fatigue so terminal that you cannot roll another foot, having all the shapely utility, bounce and style of a flat tire, the air completely taken out of you.

Another day, after another sleepless night, feeling so deflated that no air hose, pressure gauge or patch could address his flat tire-dness. Yet he'd get through it, for sure, he'd do everything needed of him, as he's done yesterday, and the day before, and the... day...... before........... huh?! Me?? Yeah, no, I'm awake! Just turn the key, give it a little gas... sure, let's go.

by Monkey's Dad September 13, 2023