the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger.

beating it like a mad man

the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger was a lot of fun for Peter after his girl friend wouldn't let him play with her.

the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger. by Anonymous September 14, 2003

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi by Catamount June 21, 2008

wonky eyed midget 

Angry short man with one wonky eye.

Average height about 3ft.

Trends tend to be stuck in the 80's (flat top hair cut, stone wash clothes, daily wearer of a friday shirt). Has an unusual aroma due to diet consisting of cheese and onion.

Once reaching a certain age they tend to have a mid life crisis, tell tell signs are buying an over the top car, motorbike and outdoor activities usually involving guns.

'Piss off back behind the bog Ian you wonky eyed midget! And while your at it drag yourself back out the 80's cont!'

wonky eyed midget by twofat March 5, 2008

Duppy-Eyed

This is a term used by morons - usually used by people with first names beginning with 'J'.. perhaps used to make themselves feel big to compensate for their small willies?

Girl 1 - Hey, you alright?

Girl 2 - yeah im okay i guess, but.. Jermaine Archibald called me duppy-eyed last night :/

Girl 1 - Really?! What a moron! That guy is such a loser!

Girl 2 - I know right! :/

Duppy-Eyed by boooonnnjjourr March 26, 2010

3 eyed cry 

3 eyed cry (or three eyed cry) is the name given to a male who is having a wank at the same time is crying his heart out.

The 3 eyes refer to the 2 "actual" eyes and the penis eye- where spunk comes out. This cleverly ties in with the fact that all 3 eyes produce a fluid- whether it be tears or spunk.

It usually takes place when a man is upset and proceeds to cry.. but comforts himself with a wank (whilst still crying obvs)

John 1: "OMG... how bad can this day get?"

John 2: "Whadup bro?"

John 1: "I just fell off my BMX and got a splinter in my pinkie"

John 2: "Hahah chode!"

John 1: "Im off for a 3 eyed cry. Sob"

3 eyed cry by chodetastic December 11, 2011

pettin' the one-eyed snake

Synonym for pullin' your pork.

My mom caught me pettin' the one-eyed snake last night. So embarassing!

pettin' the one-eyed snake by boobies March 13, 2004

Blackburn the One-Eyed Pirate 

A sexual move in which the man is making love to the woman from behind, reaches one hand around behind his head to cover one of his eyes, and loudly yells, "Arghhhh!"

Note: do not use this multiple times on the same woman as its novelty has worn off and they will not laugh after the first time.

I gave her the Blackburn the One-Eyed Pirate and she fell in love with me on the spot.

Blackburn the One-Eyed Pirate by aspen1974 February 4, 2010