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devolution

The act of reverse evolution. This word has been coined by the band "Devo". Devolution is a process which mankind is permanently engaged in, and is irreversable. There's nothing one can do about it, so enjoy the ride.
The "election" of George W. Bush is proof of devolution.
by Rich Anderson December 17, 2003
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New Year's resolution

n: An assessment of, and often delusional attempt to correct, one's shortcomings. Typically made on a day that is arbitrary except that it begins a new year on the standard Gregorian Calendar. Given the arbitrary nature of the date and the sudden change of lifestyle demanded by most resolutions, it should not be surprising that most resolutions are abandonded by the start of the next year. Fortunately the next New Year gives a person the opportunity to make the same resolution again.
A common New Year's resolution: get fit, get thin, get hot, get laid.

A common outcome: stay out of shape, stay fat, stay ugly, masturbate.
by ScabNainz January 19, 2006
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new year's resolutions

Things you promise yourself you will do or accomplish, but try as you might you never will.
"This year I'm going to lose weight"
december 31, 2005, weight = 300 lb
"God damnit!!"
by Asshat December 31, 2004
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Masturbation Revelation

Finding out, that after masturbating, you don't really want to do some of the sexual acts that you deemed a good idea while aroused or horny.
"Dude I was totally gonna go have sex with my Ex Girlfriend yesterday. I was stoked!"

"Well what happened bro??"

"PSH! I had a Masturbation Revelation after I jerked it to try and make it last longer. I texted her after I finished whacking it and told her to fuck off! Then I went and ate a sandwich"
by Rooster Jake August 27, 2011
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Evolution

A scientific Theory (a Theory in science being the closest to certianty possible, wihile remaining scientific) That does NOT in ANY way:

speculate on the origin of life on earth or otherwise (see biogenisis)

speculate on the origin of the universe

speculate on anyting but the prosess of genetic change in a population

state that any instantant transformations from one spicies to another has ever occured

state that humans cam from monkeys (it does however state that we share a common ansestor see Ape)

detail how a geneome could change in a single generation (evolution happens over multiple generations)

state that humans are in any way above or below any other form of life

state that as spicies evolve, they become bigger, 'better' or stronger, only more adapted.

state that there is no God

state that I hate most of the other, misinformed definitions (although this is true)

affiliate its self with the opening of penut butter jars or puddels being struck by lightning.

affiliate it'self with nonbiological or non-self replicating matter such as boeing 747s and scrap

allow its self to be defined by the majority of the definitions on the first few pages

hate you (but I might)

comment any anyting remotly metaphysical like the soul
That just about ruels most of the top rated definitions, and that is my point, find out what evolution is before considering yourself in a position to define it. On the subject of irriducable complexity. here's a laman's guide to the evolution of the eye:

An organism developes a cell/cluster of cells sensitive to light through a random mutation, this allows the organism to distinguish between being in light and dark, giving it a few obviouse advantages over it's competing organisms.

This then developes into a line of cells, giving the population the advantage of detecting the direction this light is coming from.

The line then becomes gradually more concave as the spicies developes, giving it more and more sense of directon of the light.

the cells then concave to the point of being a ball with a 'biological appature' allowing the spicies to eventually see basic images.

the cells then evolve to detect different wavelenghts of light (colour) ect. ect.
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Doesn't Evolution say we call come from monkeys?
No.

Doesnt Evolution say that all the dirt in the universe was condensed into a region smaller than a period at the end of this sentence?
Absolutly fucking not!!! EVER!!!!!
by Science, get it right. November 13, 2011
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evolution toe

When your second toe is longer than your first toe.
by Hippy on a Bike October 16, 2003
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Post Cum Revelation

The "back-to-reality" effect that occurs directly after ejaculation.
John: I was really planning on wanking it twice that afternoon. No one was home.

Jason: So why didn't you?

John: I wanked it once but after that I had a post cum revelation. I know longer wanted to wank a second time
by Tavid Johnson October 14, 2012
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