closet gift

a shitty gift you get and it gets stuck in your closet for longer than a year

you got me socks?? man, that's a closet gift!!

by drac6000 December 19, 2008

closet scaredaphobic

A person who says they like to be scared, but cannot deal with it once they are there.

Example: Someone who says they love to watch scary movies, but spends the whole time covering their eyes.

My girlfriend is such a closet scaredaphobic because she begged me to see "Friday the 13th" with her, and while we were there, she hid under her jacket for most of the movie.

by black dogs 3 July 8, 2009

Closet Panic Shitter

When someone gets so scared they run and hide in a cupboard. There in abject fear they shit their pants.

When found by others the shitter is laughed at and his turd filled ass-pants are poked with sticks.

Hey, guys! I found Greg!, the fucking closet panic shitter!

by Immortal Yawn January 2, 2011

Closet homosexual

When somebody acts homophobic but is really gay they only let their good friends know that they're gay

David Man I hate fags

Jake Really

David No I actually think I'm gay but I just call people fags because I want them to be my friends

Jake Ok

Ryan Hi

David Get away fag

Ryan What

David I don't want this gay fag with us

Ryan You closet homosexual

by Boogereater69 March 4, 2021

Closet Gooch

The rubbing, touching, or otherwise light stroking of the goochal area (taint, aka fleshy man-bridge). Usually done in the privacy of your own home, primarily in the closet.
*side note* a closet gooch can only be done to a male, by another male of 3 years of age or older.

Kenny gave Bruce a closet gooch at melissa's party the other day.

by Fleshy Man-bridge January 14, 2006

Closet Hoe

A woman who appears to be innocent and pure but is secretly a hoe thats in disguise.

Man Tina needs to stop fronting she is such a closet hoe.

by Bbro228 May 26, 2009

Closet Friend

A good Straight friend of a gay individual that is still in the closet. Tends to help the gay friend stay in the closet.

Enrique Iglesias was Ricky Martin's Closet Friend, he always knew Ricky was gay after watching him sing Livin' La Vida Loca... But decided to help him keep the secret.

Enrique: Ricky you are so gay, livin la what?

Ricky: Livin La Vida Loca Closeta Amigo! (Closet Friend!)

by Rossperot999 December 28, 2010