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Hammermaker Schlemmner

What some people call Hammacher Schlemmer -- the catalogue of somewhat unusual (and usually quite expen$ive) products that's been around since 1848.
Hey Dean! I just got the Holiday 2016 copy of the Hammermaker Schlemmner catalogue, and they have a self-heating bathrobe in it! I think I'll get on the blower and order one right now!
by Telephony November 24, 2016
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Hammer beast

A person that is the best at something. The beast of beasts!
Have you even seen him draw? He's a hammer beast! His talent is incredible!
by Skateboard April 19, 2017
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Hammered Dog Shit

(Abbreviated sometimes as HDS) In the field of welding, this refers to a weld that's so bad, it looks like your dog Scruffy ate Taco Bell that was 3 weeks old and had been sitting out in the sun all day, and took a shit in the joint of the weld. Originally used to describe bad stick welds, but it applies to any method (MIG, TIG, flux-core, oxyfuel, etc). Depending upon the quality of the HDS, it can be nearly impossible to grind down.
1. Billy: "Hey Jim, I decided to cap that weld you've been working on"
Jim: "You jackass! You just laid some hammered dog shit all over my stack of dimes!"

2. The CWI didn't even bother X-raying the welds that Billy made, he could spot that grade-A hammered dog shit from a mile away.

3. It took Cletus nearly an hour on the oxyacetylene torch to wash away the hammered dog shit that Jim squirted out using his new spool gun.

4. Cletus thought he had some dimes to post to weldporn and weldernation, but it was really just HDS.

5. It doesn't matter if you're AWS certified, we all lay down some HDS from time to time.
by Mrcrackofdawn August 24, 2017
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hammer speak

To be absolutely fucked up by a bitch with a hammer. And you yell ow and fuck repeatedly
Hammer speak Bang! Ow fuck owoowowowowowowowowowowfuck
by Ugandan fuckles February 20, 2019
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hammer legs

A sudden, painful cramp, often in the legs.
I got a bad case of hammer legs!
by Word Madman March 28, 2019
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Hammering the Beets

Male masturbation. Typically, the more vigorous and rough variety. Not just a causal wank.
I walked in on my roommate sitting on the toilet hammering the beets. I wondered what the smacking was.

My uncle paid me $50 to let him watch me hammering the beets.

I’m so sore from hammering the beets. My balls are swollen. I was on pornhub all day.
by Dick Onchin September 23, 2020
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Hammer Long

Hammer Long is the name of a song by French Montana. No one really knows why the song is called that.

The term can also be used in situations when someone is tired or overworked. Commonly used as an expression.
"Hey man! How was work?"

"Dude it was crazy! I had to stay an extra hour and didn't get overtime pay! Fuckin ridiculous!"

"Wow.... Hammer Long......"
by HammerLooooong March 19, 2023
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